I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary.

"I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary. The evil it does is permanent."
-- Ghandi

A human being is...

"A human being is a part of a whole, called by us "universe", a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest...a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness."
~~ Albert Einstein

You become what you think about

"You become what you think about."
~Earl Nightingale

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations.

"It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. Bartlett's Familiar Quotations is an admirable work, and I studied it intently. The quotations when engraved upon the memory give you good thoughts. They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more."
~ Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)

British Statesman, Prime Minister,
Author, Roving Commission: My Early Life, 1930, Chapter 9

Life does not accommodate you; it shatters you.

"Life does not accommodate you; it shatters you. Every seed destroys its container, or else there would be no fruition."
-- Florida Scott-Maxwell

There is no shortcut to life.

"There is no shortcut to life. To the end of our days, life is a lesson imperfectly learned."
--Harrison E. Salisbury

The inability to open up to hope...

The inability to open up to hope is what blocks trust, and blocked trust is the reason for blighted dreams.
- Elizabeth Gilbert

Time is free, but it's priceless.

“Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it you can never get it back.”
-- Harvey MacKay

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.

“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
-- Steve Jobs, Co-founder and CEO of Apple Inc.

The edge...

"The edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the one`s who have gone over."
-- Hunter S. Thompson

No person is your friend who...

"No person is your friend who demands your silence or denies your right to grow" ~Alice Walker

It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.

"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see."
- Henry David Thoreau

Focus all of our resources

"Most people have no idea of the giant capacity we can immediately command when we focus all of our resources on mastering a single area of our lives."
~Anthony Robbins

Twenty years from now...

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
- Mark Twain

Where is there dignity unless there is honesty?

"Where is there dignity unless there is honesty?"
- Cicero

No one outside ourselves can rule us inwardly

"No one outside ourselves can rule us inwardly. When we know this, we become free."
~~ the Buddha

Take care of the luxuries...

"Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves."
- Dorothy Parker

Be someone

"How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone."
- Coco Chanel

Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.

"Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes."
- Confucius

New ending

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."
~ Maria Robinson

Understanding the 10 Most Destructive Human Behaviors

10) Gossip

We humans are evolutionarily set up to judge and talk about others, no matter how hurtful it might be, researchers say.

Here's how Oxford primatologist Robin Dunbar sees it: Baboons groom each other to keep social ties strong. But we humans are more evolved, so we use gossip as social glue. Both are learned behaviors.

Gossip establishes group boundaries and boosts self-esteem, studies have found.

In many instances, the goal of gossip is not truth or accuracy. What matters is the bond that gossiping can forge, often at the expense of a third party.

"When two people share a dislike of another person, it [gossip] brings them closer," says Jennifer Bosson, a professor of psychology at the University of South Florida.

---

9) Gamble

Gambling, too, seems to be in our genes and hard-wired into our brains, which might explain why such a potentially ruinous behavior is so common.

Even monkeys gamble. A study that measured monkeys' desire to gamble for juice rewards found that even as potential rewards diminished, the primates acted irrationally and gambled for the chance to get a wee bit more.

A study published in the journal Neuron last year found that almost winning activates win-related circuitry within the brain and enhances the motivation to gamble. "Gamblers often interpret near-misses as special events, which encourage them to continue to gamble," said Luke Clark of the University of Cambridge. "Our findings show that the brain responds to near-misses as if a win has been delivered, even though the result is technically a loss."

Other studies have also shown that losing causes gamblers to get carried away. When people plan in advance how much to gamble, they're coldly rational, a study last year found. But if they lose, rationality goes out the window, and they change the game plan and bet even more.

---

8) Stress Out

Stress can be deadly, raising the risk for heart problems and even cancer. Stress can lead to depression, which can lead to suicide -- yet another destructive behavior that's uniquely human (and glaringly not on this list).

But exactly why we stress is difficult to pin down. These truths will resonate with many, however: The modern workplace is a source of significant stress for many people, as are children.

More than 600 million people around the world put in 48-hour-plus workweeks, according to the International Labor Organization. And advances in technology -- smartphones and broadband Internet -- mean a blurring of the lines between work and free time. About half of Americans bring work home, according to a recent study.

The stress of being a parent while also working is borne out by a 2007 study that found older people feel less stress.

"Many older workers are empty-nesters," says researcher Gwenith Fisher, an organizational psychologist at the University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research (ISR). "They don't have the same work-personal conflicts that younger and middle-aged workers deal with, juggling responsibilities to children along with their jobs and their personal needs."

Health experts suggest exercise and adequate sleep are two of the best ways to battle stress.

---

7) Nip, Tuck, Plump and Tattoo our Bodies

By 2015, 17 percent of U.S. residents will be getting cosmetic procedures, the industry predicts. Some would call it self-edification, of course, or art, or a way to kill time or perhaps rebel against authority. But in general, and given that people have died from cosmetic surgery procedures, what makes so many people so intent on artificially remaking themselves?

First, it's worth noting that while options at the body shop have never been more varied, the practice is ancient, often tied to cults and religions or power and status, and in fact much of the modern nip, tuck, paint, poke and plump procedures are benign compared with some ancient practices. People have reshaped their heads, elongated their necks, stretched their ears and lips, painted their bodies or affixed permanent jewelry for thousands of years.

Perhaps the strongest motivations nowadays are to be beautiful, however one might define that, or simply to fit in with a particular group.

The lure of beauty can't be denied as a prime motivator to nip and tuck. Studies have shown that shoppers buy more from attractive salespeople; attractive people capture our attention more quickly than others; and skinny people have an easier time getting hired and promoted.

"There's this idea that if you look better you'll be happier. You'll feel better about yourself," says psychologist Diana Zuckerman, president of the National Research Center for Women & Families. "And logically that makes so much sense, because we live in a society where people do care what you look like."

A sign of the times, as Baby Boomer age: While cosmetic surgery sales sagged during the recession, wrinkle-blasting laser treatments have skyrocketed.

---

6) Bully

Studies have found that half or more of grade-school children experience bullying. A European study in 2009 found that children who bully at school are likely to also bully their siblings at home. That led a researcher involved in the study to speculate that bullying behavior often starts at home.

"It is not possible to tell from our study which behavior comes first, but it is likely that if children behave in a certain way at home, bullying a sibling for instance, if this behavior goes unchecked they may take this behavior into school," said Ersilia Menesini of the Universita' degli Studi di Firenze, Italy.

But bullying is not just child's play. One study found that almost 30 percent of U.S. office workers experience bullying by bosses or coworkers, from withholding of information critical to getting the job done to insulting rumors and other purposeful humiliation. And once it starts, it tends to get worse.

"Bullying, by definition, is escalatory. This is one of the reasons it's so difficult to prevent it, because it usually starts in really small ways," says Sarah Tracy, director of the Project for Wellness and Work-Life at Arizona State University.

Experts say to combat workplace bullies, respond rationally, specifically, and consistently.

Why do we do it? To gain status and power, psychologists say. And for some, it may be hard to resist the behavior. Researchers have seen bullying behavior in monkeys and speculate that the behavior may stretch way back in our evolutionary tree.

---

5) Lie

Nobody knows for sure why humans lie so much, but studies find that it's common, and that it's often tied to deep psychological factors.

"It's tied in with self-esteem," says University of Massachusetts psychologist Robert Feldman. "We find that as soon as people feel that their self-esteem is threatened, they immediately begin to lie at higher levels."

Feldman has conducted studies in which people lie frequently, with 60 percent lying at least once during a 10-minute conversation.

And lying is not easy. One study concluded that lying takes 30 percent longer than telling the truth.

Recent studies have found that people lie in workplace e-mail more than they did with old-fashioned writing.

It's a whole other matter whether people really mean to lie in many instances. Figuring that out requires coming up with a complicated definition of lying.

"Certain conditions have to be in place for a statement to rise to the level of a lie," explains philosophy professor James E. Mahon of Washington and Lee University. "First, a person must make a statement and must believe that the statement is false. Second, the person making the statement must intend for the audience to believe that the statement is true. Anything else falls outside the definition of lying that I have defended."

Animals are also known to be capable of deception, and even robots have learned to lie, in an experiment where they were rewarded or punished depending on performance in a competition with other robots.

---

4) Cheat

Few human traits are more fascinating. While most people would say honesty is a virtue, nearly one in five Americans think cheating on taxes is morally acceptable or is not a moral issue, according to a survey by the Pew Research Center. About 10 percent are equally ambivalent about cheating on a spouse.

People who espouse high moral standards are among the worst cheats, studies have shown. The worst cheaters tend to be those with high morals who also, in some twisted way, consider cheating to be an ethically justifiable behavior in certain situations.

Cheating on spouses by celebrities and politicians thought to be moral leaders has become rampant. The behavior has a simple explanation, experts say: Guys are wired to want sex, a lot, and are more likely than gals to cheat. The behavior may be particularly likely for men with power.

"People don't necessarily practice what they preach," says Lawrence Josephs, a clinical psychologist at Adelphi University in New York. "It's not clear to what extent people's ethical values are actually running what they do or don't do."

---

3) Steal

Theft can be motivated by need. But for kleptomaniacs, stealing can be motivated by the sheer thrill of it. One study of 43,000 people found 11 percent admitted to having shoplifted at least once.

"These are people who steal even though they can easily afford not to," says Jon E. Grant of the University of Minnesota School of Medicine.

In a study in 2009, participants either took a placebo or the drug naltrexone -- known to curb addictive tendencies toward alcohol, drugs and gambling. Naltrexone blocks the effects of substances called endogenous opiates that the researchers suspect are released during stealing and which trigger the sense of pleasure in the brain.

The drug reduced the urges to steal and stealing behavior, Grant and colleagues wrote in the journal Biological Psychiatry.

Theft may be in our genes. After all, even monkeys do it. Capuchin monkeys use predator alarm calls to warn fellow monkeys to scatter and avoid threats. But some will make fake calls, and then steal food left by those that scattered.

---

2) Crave Violence

Violence is found throughout recorded human history, leading some researchers to conclude that we crave it, that it's in our genes and affects reward centers in our brains. However, going back millions of years, evidence suggests our ancient human ancestors were more peace-loving than people today, though there are signs of cannibalism among the earliest pre-history humans.

A study in 2008 concluded that humans seem to crave violence just like they do sex, food, or drugs. The study, reported in the journal Psychopharmacology, found that in mice, clusters of brain cells involved in other rewards are also behind their craving for violence. The researchers think the finding applies to human brains.

"Aggression occurs among virtually all vertebrates and is necessary to get and keep important resources such as mates, territory and food," said study team member Craig Kennedy, professor of special education and pediatrics at Vanderbilt University in Tennessee. "We have found that the reward pathway in the brain becomes engaged in response to an aggressive event and that dopamine is involved."

Many researchers believe violence in humans is an evolved tendency that helped with survival.

"Aggressive behavior has evolved in species in which it increases an individual's survival or reproduction, and this depends on the specific environmental, social, reproductive, and historical circumstances of a species. Humans certainly rank among the most violent of species," says biologist David Carrier of the University of Utah.

---

1) Cling to Bad Habits

Perhaps everything else on this list would be far less problematic if we were not such creatures of habit. In fact, studies have found that even when the risks of a particular bad habit are well-known, people find it hard to quit.

"It's not because they haven't gotten the information that these are big risks," says Cindy Jardine of the University of Alberta. "We tend to sort of live for now and into the limited future -- not the long term."

Jardine, who has studied why people cling to bad habits, cites these reasons:

-- Innate human defiance

-- Need for social acceptance

-- Inability to truly understand the nature of risk

-- Individualistic view of the world and the ability to rationalize unhealthy habits

-- Genetic predisposition to addiction

People tend to justify bad habits, she says, by noting exceptions to known statistics, such as: "It hasn't hurt me yet," or, "My grandmother smoked all her life and lived to be 90."

---

Source: http://www.livescience.com/culture/top10-destructive-human-behaviors-100122-1.html

Anyone who has never made a mistake...

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."
- Albert Einstein

3 Financial Dangers of Social Media

Anyone who doubts the power of social media to affect finances need look no further than the example of Kansas City Chiefs football player Larry Johnson.

The all-pro running back cost himself $213,000, and ultimately a job, by posting anti-gay slurs on the micro-blogging service Twitter -- in 140 characters or less, of course.

Career trouble is just one way a badly managed social media presence can hit your pocketbook. Following are three areas where social media could damage your financial life, and how to avoid such pitfalls.


Employment

Andy Beal, CEO of the social media monitoring platform Trackur.com, says jobseekers should assume potential employers will do a Google search of candidates' names. Social media profiles typically appear near the top of the search page.

If you have questionable pictures or posts on a public profile, take them down or make the profile private to avoid trouble.

Also, steer clear of negative talk about a prospective employer on any social media platform, Beal says. Many companies monitor mentions of their brand throughout the Web, he says.

He cites the case of a Twitter user who posted about a new job offer from Cisco, but expressed doubt about "the daily commute" and "hating the work." A Cisco employee noticed the tweet and demanded to know the name of the user's hiring manager.

Even employees who think their jobs are safe can sabotage themselves by being too honest online about their personal lives, or by posting feelings regarding a boss, client, co-worker or company for whom they work.

"We've seen a lot of cases of people publishing status updates that have gotten them in trouble," says Justin Smith, founder and editor in chief of Inside Facebook. "People have said things that have caused problems with their boss because of what they said about their work or because they've shared some other kind of private information about work online."

Caroline McCarthy, a staff writer at CNET News, says the best defense against such mistakes is to use plain old common sense. Remember, anything that appears on the Web is just a screenshot away from spreading quickly, despite the best efforts of social media users to keep it private.


Debt Collection

Social media has become a key tool for collection agencies trying to track down debtors, says Michelle Dunn, CEO of the American Credit and Collections Association and author of "Do's and Don'ts of Online Collections Techniques."

"If they don't have a good phone number or the mail's being returned, a lot of them use Facebook to find out if they have a different address or their employment information," Dunn says.

Many bill collectors who think they've found a debtor on a social media site will keep an eye on that individual's online presence, Dunn says.


"They don't necessarily have to post anything to them; they just watch what that person is posting," she says.

Setting a social media profile to allow anyone -- not just friends -- to look at postings can make your profile a particularly rich source of information, she says.

"People post things about if they've gotten a new home or a new vehicle," Dunn says. "People just post such private things about their lives, and the whole world is watching."

Privacy laws should preclude a collections professional from contacting and humiliating you on your social media page, Dunn says. However, some debt collectors violate those legal and ethical boundaries and assume false identities as a means of getting information, she says.


Scams

Social media sites ask for, and often get, a large amount of personal information from users. Unfortunately, identity thieves may use that information to perpetuate scams, especially if you use personal information when creating security passwords, McCarthy says.

"If you have a public Facebook profile that gives your birth date and your parents' names and that kind of thing, they can provide the answers to security questions that your bank might have on its Web site," she says.

Even if your profile is private, identity thieves may find other ways to get your information, Beal says.

"We see spammers, we see hackers, we see people trying to sell products using fictitious profiles," he says. "There was a study done a few years ago where one group created a specific fictitious profile and the number of people that accepted their friend request ... was pretty high."

For this reason, be careful about adding social networking "friends" you don't know in real life, says Beal.

"Social networking is not a popularity contest," says Beal. "I don't add anyone to Facebook or LinkedIn unless I know them."

And remember, just because a social media site asks for information doesn't mean you have to give it, Beal says.

Finally, McCarthy recommends never sending money to someone who asks for it over a social media service. Smith says that there have been reports of scammers hijacking accounts and posing as friends.

Source: http://finance.yahoo.com/career-work/article/108692/financial-dangers-of-social-media

be kind whenever possible.

"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible."
~ His Holiness, the Dalai Lama

Time is the coin of your life...

"Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you."
-- Carl Sandburg

Important things

"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."
- Dale Carnegie

My religion is kindness

"My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness."
~ Dalai Lama

There are two things you should never be mad at

"There are two things you should never be mad at: Those you can change and those you can not."
-- Plato

Free advice

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Maybe a happy ending is just moving on

"Maybe a happy ending is just moving on."

-- Quote from the movie "He's Just Not That Into You"

The Man who Sold his Life for Money

There once was a boy who dreamed of being a millionaire. By the time he was 10, he spent all his waking hours and dreamful nights fantasizing about being the richest man in the world. He had his first business by the time he was twelve and made more money mowing lawns and shoveling snow than all the kids in the neighborhood - combined. He was pleased but it was never enough. He was always looking for more ways to get rich - he didn't need it to be quick but he did have to know that he was continuously working hard to make his fantasy a reality.

In high school he missed his prom because he had to work at the local food chain - he didn't consider taking the night off like the other kids. He figured that once he was rich, there would plenty of time - besides it is just a prom and one night of his life. Weeks later when he was working his second job, his parents weren’t too happy when he missed his graduation, but he didn't care. His only priority was to fulfill his financial dreams. With his tenacity and dedication he did extremely well in college. He focused his entire attention on his studies and for the first time his work was a secondary priority. He was smart enough to know that an advanced education was necessary in order to create wealth.

He met his very first girlfriend in college. If she didn't relentlessly pursue him, he never would have even noticed her despite her stunning looks and friendly personality. They started dating and before long they were deeply involved. Of course she complained that work and school came before her but he wasn’t sure what the problem was with that - after all if you want to have a great life, you need more money than God. She never did understand this and soon ended the relationship. He was too focused on more important things to be hurt by the break up.

About six months later he met a young woman that he pursued. He actually loathed the way he acted around this girl but felt compelled and almost hypnotized by her. To his horror and dismay she actually convinced him to take a day off and go to the park with her. The whole time he was there he couldn't think about anything else but the money he was loosing and he was afraid that this one day of hooky would start a pattern and he would never succeed in life. After that he saw her less and less and wasn’t so compelled to be around her. But he was around her enough to get her pregnant.

She wanted to have the baby and get married but this infuriated him. If he got married and had a baby now, his whole life would be ruined. His plan was to get married in five years when he was 27 and then have 2 children - one at 32 and the other at 38 - he hoped they would boys and he could teach each of them to take over one business or another. So there was no way he was going to give up his fool-proof plan. He has seen what happens to people when they let life control their destiny and he will never be one of those naive people.

The next day he picked her up and took her to get an abortion. She cried all the way there and back, and for months afterwards. He knew it was for the best and tried to convince her of that everyday. She would pretend to believe him to get attention but the next day would come and the tears would be falling again. Eventually he learned to ignore her "irrational crying fits". When the crying finally stopped, he thought she was over it but she actually just learned to cry alone in the middle of the night.

Years passed and when he turned 27, he asked her to marry him with the promise they would have a child in 5 years. Although she still felt hurt, abandoned and betrayed by him, she deeply loved him and agreed to marry him. If only she knew things would get even worse and after 6 miscarriages she would be told by three different fertility experts that the forced abortion she had years ago created irreparable damage and she would never bear a child.

She had always dreamed of a Cinderella-like wedding but when she shared her wedding plans with him, he raised his voice and said "That might be your plan but it is not mine". Her parents were dead and whatever type of wedding they had, he would have to pay for. By then he had over a million dollars in net worth and could certainly afford it but he felt it was a waste of his hard earned money - and would not throw it away on a silly one day dream. He never did see that it was also a once in a lifetime dream. She argued with him for weeks but in the end she sacrificed the wedding for the marriage. The next day they went down to the hot and smelly court house and got married. She wore her regular work clothes because she was too depressed to make any real effort at looking good. She also didn't have the red and pink long stem rose bouquet he promised her but forgot to pick up.

Years passed and the man started 3 new businesses - doubling his net worth. He was good at what he did and it showed. His financial dream was getting closer and he knew he would do whatever it took to attain it - even if it took the rest of his life and a million sacrifices. He believed that when he had complete financial abundance, he could finally relax and be happy.

What he didn't see coming was the day he came home to discover his wife had left him. He found a note on the table that said something about her being emotionally starved for love and attention and every time she looked at him, she remembered her broken dreams and her broken heart. She also added, "please don’t look for me" - he never did.

Two months later, the divorce was final. When she came over to pick up her copy of the papers, he asked her why she refused a settlement, alimony and assets. She dropped dead in her tracks and looked at him like a wild animal viciously protecting herself - and said "How can you think I would take the very thing that ruined our marriage and destroyed me and my unborn baby? Why didn't you just have an affair with someone - I could have competed with?" Before he could open his mouth to respond, she was gone and all he could hear was the hostile echo of the front door violently slamming shut. After that day he gave very little thought to the things she said - he never did figure out what she meant.

It was no surprise that he used his new single status as an opportunity to throw himself into his work even more and before long it paid off. He had more money than he knew how deal with. But it still wasn't enough – there were still people richer than him and that wasn't acceptable. He worked every day for the rest of his life. He never remarried but did have a daughter as result of a drunken one night stand. Although he never saw her, she would write to him several times a year. He would never acknowledge her letters or the things in her life that she shared with him. He did send her money for practical things on a regular basis but never once did he send her any special presents or even acknowledge her birthday.

The only relationships he ever had were with his secretary and his dentist - both remained completely professional. They each hid their distaste of him very well - or he just didn't care enough to notice. He never took a vacation, bought a nice car or lived in a beautiful house which he very well could afford. He just didn't see the value of trading his hard earned money for frivolity. He never sent or received birthday presents, Christmas cards or any invitations, He lived an empty, solitary life and never made the time to try to figure out what was missing and how to get it.

Alone on his death bed he tried thinking of anything he was taking with him. He relentlessly searched for hours and realized that anything that might have been valuable to take with him when he passed was traded for money. As he finally understood it was a price too great to pay, he realized it was that wisdom that he would take with him from this world - and maybe he could still pass that on.

He used every last once of strength to write a short note, and as he closed his tired eyes, he took his very last breathe.

Almost 2 weeks later when the police responded to a call about an odd smell, they found his dead decaying body. It was a typical type of call except they were profoundly intrigued to find a huge smile of satisfaction embedded on the man's hardened face. And then they found the note in his stiffened right hand. It said:

"To whom it may concern. On this day of my death, let this note act as my final last will and testament.

No more and no less than $5000.00 will go to my daughter and son in law specifically for that vacation they keep putting off. A note with the money should say "Please learn from this dying man who is leaving this life with only one bit of wisdom. Don’t ever sell your life for money in the belief that money will buy you a life - it won't.

All remaining money will be buried with me in a locked and guarded tomb - not because I believe I can take my money with me but rather because I don't want to infect anyone with the dis-ease that ultimately killed me - and burden them with a life of self imposed imprisonment. Be free now and not wait for life to give you permission or provide you the right conditions - by human nature, it never will. And know in the end I die a peaceful man because I finally found the answer I unconsciously spent my whole life seeking. Now in the last moments of my life, I choose life.

One more thing, please find my wife and bring her three dozen long stemmed red and pink roses with the following note, "I'm sorry for breaking your heart and your dreams - and I’m sorry it took me so long to recognize just how sorry I would be. Now as money no longer has any meaning to me, I can feel all the feelings that I pushed down my whole life so I could stay focused on the illusion that wealth could be found by accumulating money. Now I can feel all the love for you that I buried before I knew what it was. I'm glad I do now. I love you".

The officer put the note back in the old mans hand and quietly walked out the door. The other cop could barely hear him say "I've got something to undo - that old man just saved my marriage and my life - and if you think the old man’s message is about money - think again".

Source: http://www.nanice.com/Transform-your-relationship-with-Money-and-Your-Life-a30.html

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to... be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
-- Marianne Williamson

We're all in the gutter but some of us are looking up at the stars

"We're all in the gutter but some of us are looking up at the stars."
-- Oscar Wilde

Be you

"I want you to be everything that's you, deep at the center of your being."

-- Confucius

Be Yourself

"Always be a first rate version of yourself, and not a second rate version of someone else." -Judy Garland

Definition of Integrity

By: Chris Czach Hidalgo ©
Monday December 16, 2002 This information/essay is copyrighted and protected by copyscape

According to Merriam Webster, integrity is:
1: firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values : INCORRUPTIBILITY
2: an unimpaired condition: SOUNDNESS
3: the quality or state of being complete or undivided: COMPLETENESS
synonym see HONESTY



According to Oxford Dictionary, (the origin of) integrity is:
integrity
/integriti/

Noun

• 1 - the quality of being honest and morally upright.

• 2 - the state of being whole or unified.

• 3 - soundness of construction.

— ORIGIN - Latin: integritas; from integer ‘intact, whole’.


A few thoughts on the matter
The following information is simply an opinion based on life experiences and a personal understanding of truth and honesty--which are part of the foundational aspects of true integrity.

Integrity is a skill
As with all skills, they're developed and learned over time. For example, few people have an inherent skill in math and most people must learn the rules and exceptions associated with math to finally get a grasp on the concept. As a result, math is learned after repeating special techniques over and over including doing some memorization. This is also true with Integrity.

Training
A qualified carpenter must endure years of training, practice and exposure to building materials and circumstances that call for his talent. Integrity must also endure years of practice and exposure, for integrity is NOT necessarily inherent within a person's personality. Instead, integrity is a trait that is taught and learned over an entire lifetime.

Point of reference
Integrity is a guideline, a benchmark, a point of reference or a goal that is used to make decisions that rely on truth and honesty. All things are related to this point of reference and judged accordingly. To maintain integrity, you must remember to refer to truth and honesty in ALL decisions, thoughts, actions and reactions. That's not an option if you are to have and maintain integrity.

A great tower
Integrity is something that a person builds and maintains during a lifetime. You can consider integrity as a building within a person's heart that starts when the person is young. This "building" begins with the first hole that is dug. Once the hole is dug, the foundation is laid--usually by parents and other leaders (church and school instructors). The walls follow with windows and doors added along the way. The windows would allow for transparency and serve as a type of checks-and-balances. The doors would allow for modifications of a person's definition of integrity to easily take place--hopefully for the better. The roof is added later and serves to protect from outside forces.

Re-building
Just as you can re-build a house when it falls down, so too can you re-establish integrity if you fall away from it's blessings.

Tomorrow is a new day
Leaving the past where it is, picking up the pieces and moving on is critical if you choose to "turn over a new leaf." Keys that lead to success in this endeavor include 1) understanding, 2) grasping the reigns tightly and 3) implementing a new and improved plan that allows tomorrow to be a clean slate for you to work with. Let the past go and concentrate on the present and the future.

Looking back is important for learning from our mistakes...but leave it at that. Don't bring the past into the future for any other reason, if it's tainted in any way. Make new memories. Memories that are ethical and moral. Memories that blare and echo with integrity.

A plant
Integrity can also be considered as a seed. It is planted in youth, watered in childhood and blossoms in adulthood. The more you water it throughout life, the more it grows and blooms. Just as it is with plants, if neglected at any point, it WILL wither and die. If your plant has died, simply plant a new seed and water it daily! Note that a plant does not blossom immediately but must go through a life cycle first. So, integrity will take a while to get used to...again.

Maintenance
Integrity must be maintained. A janitor cleans and straightens rooms for a living. You must be a janitor and maintain true integrity. If you avoid the dust that settles, your definition of integrity begins to diminish and decrease in value. A strict maintenance schedule must be kept or what has taken a lifetime to build will come crumbling down in minutes.

Loss
It's critical to note that integrity can be lost or compromised beyond recognition in a person's life. I've been there and am in the process of re-establishing integrity in my life...and it's not easy. Recognizing that integrity has been compromised or is totally lost from your life is the first step of many. The second step is to do something about it--and that would be to make the decision to plant a new seed and water it daily...even minute-to-minute.

Holding up to the test
Consider a cup that cannot hold water. A person that lives their life without integrity is like that cup. The crack may be invisible to the eye, but if it doesn't hold up to the test, it's virtually worthless. Many people walk around with a small crack that is easily hidden, but time reveals their flaw.

Honesty
...a totally separate issue that definitely applies to real integrity. To be honest is to apply integrity to a situation or instance. The two go hand-in-hand without exception or separation. There are few things that complicate an issue or hurt more than dishonesty. At least honesty leaves a person with some sense of closure and dignity...despite the fact that it may sometimes really hurt to know the truth.

The role of integrity in "love"
Integrity helps to define love. Although many things collectively define love, Integrity is a little different in that it plays a unique role. Integrity acts as a binder of the many things that help to describe the meaning of love. Integrity helps to keep all the things that make up love, together so that love is constant and pure. Without a binder such as water, bread would be nothing more than baked powder with seasoning. Paper would be a collection of loose fibers.

Integrity can help to define you by acting as a binder that keeps your words, your thoughts and your actions honest, worthy and admirable.

Other definitions
People can tweak or modify their definition of integrity to suit their needs, desires and ambitions at the time. For that reason, it's possible to have a large number of definitions of the word or state of affairs in a person's life--but that doesn't necessarily mean they're all sound definitions.



Integrity will:

* begin and continue as a personal ON-GOING decision to stand firm on principals that are inherently good.

* most likely take the long, straight and narrow road and does not cave into cheating.

* tell the truth over a lie despite the consequences.

* suffer the consequences instead of compromise itself.

* help to steer a person clear of those that easily bow to a corrupt nature.

* be apt to lend a helping hand simply as a by-product of this special lifestyle decision.

* diminish and eventually disappear if you choose to ignore and abandon it's blessing.

* set you apart from a great number of people who have chosen to follow the lead of a different drummer.

* sometimes separate you from the "in" crowd, but that's not always the case.

* on some occasions, make other people feel uncomfortable around you because of their own insecurities, problems and guilt.

* impress others only because of your decision to adhere to such a (sometimes) difficult lifestyle.

* sometimes put you into tight situations that APPEAR to be needlessly difficult.

* allow for rebuilding. It will come back and continue to blossom if you choose and allow it to grow within.


Integrity will NOT:

* allow for decisions that may compromise personal belief and faith.

* always APPEAR to help a situation.

* be an easy decision for all situations.

* be Disneyland and roses all the time.

* give in to peer pressure simply because "everyone's doing it."

* give up on you--you can always re-establish integrity by making a conscious effort to re-build what past mistakes have broken down.

* in an obvious way come to the rescue of a person.


Benefits
Integrity always benefits a person, but the benefit is NOT always immediately recognizable. In fact, some times the benefits of Integrity are not obvious for many years down the road. It's possible for a person to live most of their lives and not see the benefits of integrity until late in life. It's different for everyone and doesn't mean it's better or worse for you, it just means it's different, that's all.

Notice
As a side note, please know that in many cases, "things are not as they appear."

Experiences
Integrity is NOT a one time experience or situation. Instead, Integrity is an on-going experience of a collection of situations where sound decisions are made based on good judgment, discernment, wisdom and knowledge.

By-Products
Integrity has its by-products. As you become more familiar with a lifestyle that allows for integrity to bloom wild and free, life is usually filled with more and more peace--a by-product. After a while of on-going decisions guided by integrity, people begin to take notice. Employers begin to place more trust in you and your abilities. Friends rely more and more on your apparent wisdom. Better decisions lead to a better life.

Misdirected hate
As a direct result of your decision to establish integrity within yourself, you will gain favor with many people. Others will hate you for it--another by-product. People hate other people for the weirdest reasons. Someone dedicated to truth and honesty is a typical target. There are many reasons for this misdirected hate, but the most common reason is their own insecurity (referring to the person who hates). People WILL be threatened by you because of your decision to maintain integrity.

Personal definition
This personal definition of integrity is an attempt to offer an unbiased presentation of what integrity can and cannot mean. That is to say this definition of integrity:

* is in no way the one-and-only true definition;

* may actually serve to corrupt someone's definition of integrity--BUT this definition has a sincere intention to help explain the many sides of integrity's purity and benefits so that the reader can decide for themselves.

* should help to answer some of the many questions people may have about integrity and the possible role it may play in a person's life, decision making, thoughts, actions and destiny.

* should broaden one's insight about how much of a role integrity plays in their daily life, even minute-to-minute.


The great cathedral
Remember, you can live life the way you want, for good or for evil. But I'd like to suggest the following story for your consideration:

Back in the middle ages (1200-1600 A.D.) a great cathedral was being built by many skilled laborers. One day a strange man came to town and asked each of the men what they were doing.

One man answered, "I have to lay this brick to feed my nagging wife and my many ungrateful children."

Another answered by saying, "I'm just trying to pass the time until I die and at the same time keep myself afloat."

Another man said, "I'm following my father's footsteps and doing what I'm told."

An old man answered, "I am a mason, this is what I do."

Yet another man was heard saying, "I do this because I have many debts to pay."

Then the stranger saw a young man laying brick who was working feverishly unlike the other workers. Intrigued, the stranger questioned this young man next.

After being questioned, the young brick layer stopped, starred at the yet unfinished building and answered by saying, "I'm taking part in the greatest building project in history. A cathedral unlike any other in the world. One of surpassing beauty and size. This cathedral will be the greatest the world has ever seen.

I'm only laying the block, but my efforts will help this great cathedral to stand the test of time so future generations can marvel at and appreciate it's awesome beauty."

Needless to say, the previous story about the building of the cathedral reveals that it's not what you have to do, it's not what you want to do or what you think you should do, but it's about how you do all things in life.

How you do what you have to do, how you do what you want to do, and how you do what you think you should do, will determine your success. You'll "have to do things," you'll "want to do things," and you'll "think you should do things" your whole life, but it's the quality of how you do them that really matters.

Integrity plays a critical part in quality decisions, thoughts and actions. It'll be obvious in how you act and react to expected and unexpected circumstances.

The "Gifted" Musician
Everybody enjoys one or several types of music, regardless of their sex, culture, age or beliefs. Music is truly one of the few universal avenues to express yourself to where others will consider your art despite who you might be in their eyes.

Most people only enjoy listening to music, but few enjoy listening and creating music. Some musicians are good, some are better and then there are those who are exceptionally good--considered to have the "gift" of music. But even they have to practice.

I attended a concert recently where a fan of the featured musician anxiously walked up to his favorite performer and said;

"you're an outstanding musician!"

The artist replied by saying;

"thank you, I appreciate you saying so. I practice every day."

Just as the great musician must practice everyday to maintain his high level of artistic talent, so too must we practice implementing integrity into our every-day lives.

Remembering
Allowing integrity to seep out only every now-and-then is not acceptable if we are to benefit fully from the blessing that integrity has to offer over a lifetime.

Integrity should be allowed to flow freely in the mainstream of our thoughts and actions. That, realistically, does not happen over night. It's a decision we must make every morning after we wake up. It's a decision we need to "remember" to make every morning after we wake up.

Studies show that if you do something twenty-one times in a row (but not like a robot in immediate succession), that "function" should be ingrained enough to where it becomes second nature after a while.

A simple note on the bathroom mirror, one just above the door knob of your bedroom or some other place where you're sure to see it every morning--for 21 days---should do the trick. Give it a shot.

A wonderful life
Choosing a wonderful life over (just) life can make the difference between success and failure, peace and chaos, love and hate, and integrity plays a key role in those decisions.

Chose to be like the young man laying the brick to build what he believes to be the greatest cathedral in the whole world.

Chose to plant a seed that will become the immovable oak.

Chose to be like the janitor that maintains a clean household.

Chose to be a cup that can hold water and is half full instead of half empty.

You can do it, it's as simple as a decision--one of many that will be based on wisdom, good judgment, discernment and knowledge.

Chose to incorporate integrity in your life today.

That, my friend, is integrity.



Interesting Experience

Defining Integrity In a nutshell...or in this case, in a fortune cookie.

The other day I was having lunch with two friends, Ken Mac Court and Sam Quick, at a Chinese restaurant in Flagstaff, Arizona when I received an interesting "fortune" from the traditional after-dinner fortune cookie (that I usually smash on the table, work through the pieces for the "fortune," then consider the alleged "fortune" and toss what's left--I don't like the cookie, just the fortune):

On this particular day the unusually unique "fortune" read:

"Integrity is doing the right thing, even if nobody is watching."

After I stopped coughing and finally got some air as a result of the shock of reading something so prevalent in my constant search to define words that I want to apply to my life, I realized that this "fortune" was by far the most profound, applicable and true "fortune" cookie I had ever received.

Such a simple yet concise definition of the word integrity from a fortune cookie? I could hardly believe it!

Source: http://webweevers.com/integrity.htm

Be who you are...

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
~ Dr. Seuss

Just words

"I love you" and "I'm sorry" are pretty words. But when they are not backed up with action they are just words.

-- Trixie Racer

Love is Blind

“But love is blind, and lovers cannot see What petty follies they themselves commit”
-- William Shakespeare

Yesterday is a canceled check...

Yesterday is a canceled check...

Tomorrow is a promissory note...

Today is cash
...spend it wisely.

-- Unknown

Thoughts

If you think you are beaten, you are;
if you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't, it's almost a cinch you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you're lost.
For out in the world we find success begins with a fellow's will; it's all a state of mind.
Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man; but soon or late the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

-- Unknown

Alternate Serenity Prayer

Found this today:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill because they pissed me off and also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.

Herbert Spencer on "Contempt prior to investigation"

"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance--- that principle is CONTEMPT PRIOR TO INVESTIGATION!!!!!!!!" -- Herbert Spencer

Can't find the STRENGTH to get back up?

Nick Vujicic and his attitude serve as a great examples of the celebration of life over limitations.

The human spirit can handle much more than we realize.

"I LOVE LIVING LIFE. I AM HAPPY."

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Think you've got it bad?
Need some encouragement?
Fallen down?
Can't find the STRENGTH to get back up?

Watch this video. It will help. Then share it with others.

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"If I fail, I try again, and again, and again..."
If YOU fail, are YOU going to try again?

It matters how you're going to FINISH...
Are you going to finish STRONG?

We are put in situations to build our character... not destroy us.

The tensions in our life are there to strengthen our convictions... not to run over us.

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Nick is thankful for what he HAS.
He's not bitter for what he does NOT have.

I have never met a bitter person who was thankful.
I have never met a thankful person who was bitter.

In life you have a choice: Bitter or BETTER?

Can Miles...

Can miles truly separate you from friends.... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there? ~Richard Bach