"We're all in the gutter but some of us are looking up at the stars."
-- Oscar Wilde
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Be Yourself
"Always be a first rate version of yourself, and not a second rate version of someone else." -Judy Garland
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Definition of Integrity
By: Chris Czach Hidalgo ©
Monday December 16, 2002 This information/essay is copyrighted and protected by copyscape
According to Merriam Webster, integrity is:
1: firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values : INCORRUPTIBILITY
2: an unimpaired condition: SOUNDNESS
3: the quality or state of being complete or undivided: COMPLETENESS
synonym see HONESTY
According to Oxford Dictionary, (the origin of) integrity is:
integrity
/integriti/
Noun
• 1 - the quality of being honest and morally upright.
• 2 - the state of being whole or unified.
• 3 - soundness of construction.
— ORIGIN - Latin: integritas; from integer ‘intact, whole’.
A few thoughts on the matter
The following information is simply an opinion based on life experiences and a personal understanding of truth and honesty--which are part of the foundational aspects of true integrity.
Integrity is a skill
As with all skills, they're developed and learned over time. For example, few people have an inherent skill in math and most people must learn the rules and exceptions associated with math to finally get a grasp on the concept. As a result, math is learned after repeating special techniques over and over including doing some memorization. This is also true with Integrity.
Training
A qualified carpenter must endure years of training, practice and exposure to building materials and circumstances that call for his talent. Integrity must also endure years of practice and exposure, for integrity is NOT necessarily inherent within a person's personality. Instead, integrity is a trait that is taught and learned over an entire lifetime.
Point of reference
Integrity is a guideline, a benchmark, a point of reference or a goal that is used to make decisions that rely on truth and honesty. All things are related to this point of reference and judged accordingly. To maintain integrity, you must remember to refer to truth and honesty in ALL decisions, thoughts, actions and reactions. That's not an option if you are to have and maintain integrity.
A great tower
Integrity is something that a person builds and maintains during a lifetime. You can consider integrity as a building within a person's heart that starts when the person is young. This "building" begins with the first hole that is dug. Once the hole is dug, the foundation is laid--usually by parents and other leaders (church and school instructors). The walls follow with windows and doors added along the way. The windows would allow for transparency and serve as a type of checks-and-balances. The doors would allow for modifications of a person's definition of integrity to easily take place--hopefully for the better. The roof is added later and serves to protect from outside forces.
Re-building
Just as you can re-build a house when it falls down, so too can you re-establish integrity if you fall away from it's blessings.
Tomorrow is a new day
Leaving the past where it is, picking up the pieces and moving on is critical if you choose to "turn over a new leaf." Keys that lead to success in this endeavor include 1) understanding, 2) grasping the reigns tightly and 3) implementing a new and improved plan that allows tomorrow to be a clean slate for you to work with. Let the past go and concentrate on the present and the future.
Looking back is important for learning from our mistakes...but leave it at that. Don't bring the past into the future for any other reason, if it's tainted in any way. Make new memories. Memories that are ethical and moral. Memories that blare and echo with integrity.
A plant
Integrity can also be considered as a seed. It is planted in youth, watered in childhood and blossoms in adulthood. The more you water it throughout life, the more it grows and blooms. Just as it is with plants, if neglected at any point, it WILL wither and die. If your plant has died, simply plant a new seed and water it daily! Note that a plant does not blossom immediately but must go through a life cycle first. So, integrity will take a while to get used to...again.
Maintenance
Integrity must be maintained. A janitor cleans and straightens rooms for a living. You must be a janitor and maintain true integrity. If you avoid the dust that settles, your definition of integrity begins to diminish and decrease in value. A strict maintenance schedule must be kept or what has taken a lifetime to build will come crumbling down in minutes.
Loss
It's critical to note that integrity can be lost or compromised beyond recognition in a person's life. I've been there and am in the process of re-establishing integrity in my life...and it's not easy. Recognizing that integrity has been compromised or is totally lost from your life is the first step of many. The second step is to do something about it--and that would be to make the decision to plant a new seed and water it daily...even minute-to-minute.
Holding up to the test
Consider a cup that cannot hold water. A person that lives their life without integrity is like that cup. The crack may be invisible to the eye, but if it doesn't hold up to the test, it's virtually worthless. Many people walk around with a small crack that is easily hidden, but time reveals their flaw.
Honesty
...a totally separate issue that definitely applies to real integrity. To be honest is to apply integrity to a situation or instance. The two go hand-in-hand without exception or separation. There are few things that complicate an issue or hurt more than dishonesty. At least honesty leaves a person with some sense of closure and dignity...despite the fact that it may sometimes really hurt to know the truth.
The role of integrity in "love"
Integrity helps to define love. Although many things collectively define love, Integrity is a little different in that it plays a unique role. Integrity acts as a binder of the many things that help to describe the meaning of love. Integrity helps to keep all the things that make up love, together so that love is constant and pure. Without a binder such as water, bread would be nothing more than baked powder with seasoning. Paper would be a collection of loose fibers.
Integrity can help to define you by acting as a binder that keeps your words, your thoughts and your actions honest, worthy and admirable.
Other definitions
People can tweak or modify their definition of integrity to suit their needs, desires and ambitions at the time. For that reason, it's possible to have a large number of definitions of the word or state of affairs in a person's life--but that doesn't necessarily mean they're all sound definitions.
Integrity will:
* begin and continue as a personal ON-GOING decision to stand firm on principals that are inherently good.
* most likely take the long, straight and narrow road and does not cave into cheating.
* tell the truth over a lie despite the consequences.
* suffer the consequences instead of compromise itself.
* help to steer a person clear of those that easily bow to a corrupt nature.
* be apt to lend a helping hand simply as a by-product of this special lifestyle decision.
* diminish and eventually disappear if you choose to ignore and abandon it's blessing.
* set you apart from a great number of people who have chosen to follow the lead of a different drummer.
* sometimes separate you from the "in" crowd, but that's not always the case.
* on some occasions, make other people feel uncomfortable around you because of their own insecurities, problems and guilt.
* impress others only because of your decision to adhere to such a (sometimes) difficult lifestyle.
* sometimes put you into tight situations that APPEAR to be needlessly difficult.
* allow for rebuilding. It will come back and continue to blossom if you choose and allow it to grow within.
Integrity will NOT:
* allow for decisions that may compromise personal belief and faith.
* always APPEAR to help a situation.
* be an easy decision for all situations.
* be Disneyland and roses all the time.
* give in to peer pressure simply because "everyone's doing it."
* give up on you--you can always re-establish integrity by making a conscious effort to re-build what past mistakes have broken down.
* in an obvious way come to the rescue of a person.
Benefits
Integrity always benefits a person, but the benefit is NOT always immediately recognizable. In fact, some times the benefits of Integrity are not obvious for many years down the road. It's possible for a person to live most of their lives and not see the benefits of integrity until late in life. It's different for everyone and doesn't mean it's better or worse for you, it just means it's different, that's all.
Notice
As a side note, please know that in many cases, "things are not as they appear."
Experiences
Integrity is NOT a one time experience or situation. Instead, Integrity is an on-going experience of a collection of situations where sound decisions are made based on good judgment, discernment, wisdom and knowledge.
By-Products
Integrity has its by-products. As you become more familiar with a lifestyle that allows for integrity to bloom wild and free, life is usually filled with more and more peace--a by-product. After a while of on-going decisions guided by integrity, people begin to take notice. Employers begin to place more trust in you and your abilities. Friends rely more and more on your apparent wisdom. Better decisions lead to a better life.
Misdirected hate
As a direct result of your decision to establish integrity within yourself, you will gain favor with many people. Others will hate you for it--another by-product. People hate other people for the weirdest reasons. Someone dedicated to truth and honesty is a typical target. There are many reasons for this misdirected hate, but the most common reason is their own insecurity (referring to the person who hates). People WILL be threatened by you because of your decision to maintain integrity.
Personal definition
This personal definition of integrity is an attempt to offer an unbiased presentation of what integrity can and cannot mean. That is to say this definition of integrity:
* is in no way the one-and-only true definition;
* may actually serve to corrupt someone's definition of integrity--BUT this definition has a sincere intention to help explain the many sides of integrity's purity and benefits so that the reader can decide for themselves.
* should help to answer some of the many questions people may have about integrity and the possible role it may play in a person's life, decision making, thoughts, actions and destiny.
* should broaden one's insight about how much of a role integrity plays in their daily life, even minute-to-minute.
The great cathedral
Remember, you can live life the way you want, for good or for evil. But I'd like to suggest the following story for your consideration:
Back in the middle ages (1200-1600 A.D.) a great cathedral was being built by many skilled laborers. One day a strange man came to town and asked each of the men what they were doing.
One man answered, "I have to lay this brick to feed my nagging wife and my many ungrateful children."
Another answered by saying, "I'm just trying to pass the time until I die and at the same time keep myself afloat."
Another man said, "I'm following my father's footsteps and doing what I'm told."
An old man answered, "I am a mason, this is what I do."
Yet another man was heard saying, "I do this because I have many debts to pay."
Then the stranger saw a young man laying brick who was working feverishly unlike the other workers. Intrigued, the stranger questioned this young man next.
After being questioned, the young brick layer stopped, starred at the yet unfinished building and answered by saying, "I'm taking part in the greatest building project in history. A cathedral unlike any other in the world. One of surpassing beauty and size. This cathedral will be the greatest the world has ever seen.
I'm only laying the block, but my efforts will help this great cathedral to stand the test of time so future generations can marvel at and appreciate it's awesome beauty."
Needless to say, the previous story about the building of the cathedral reveals that it's not what you have to do, it's not what you want to do or what you think you should do, but it's about how you do all things in life.
How you do what you have to do, how you do what you want to do, and how you do what you think you should do, will determine your success. You'll "have to do things," you'll "want to do things," and you'll "think you should do things" your whole life, but it's the quality of how you do them that really matters.
Integrity plays a critical part in quality decisions, thoughts and actions. It'll be obvious in how you act and react to expected and unexpected circumstances.
The "Gifted" Musician
Everybody enjoys one or several types of music, regardless of their sex, culture, age or beliefs. Music is truly one of the few universal avenues to express yourself to where others will consider your art despite who you might be in their eyes.
Most people only enjoy listening to music, but few enjoy listening and creating music. Some musicians are good, some are better and then there are those who are exceptionally good--considered to have the "gift" of music. But even they have to practice.
I attended a concert recently where a fan of the featured musician anxiously walked up to his favorite performer and said;
"you're an outstanding musician!"
The artist replied by saying;
"thank you, I appreciate you saying so. I practice every day."
Just as the great musician must practice everyday to maintain his high level of artistic talent, so too must we practice implementing integrity into our every-day lives.
Remembering
Allowing integrity to seep out only every now-and-then is not acceptable if we are to benefit fully from the blessing that integrity has to offer over a lifetime.
Integrity should be allowed to flow freely in the mainstream of our thoughts and actions. That, realistically, does not happen over night. It's a decision we must make every morning after we wake up. It's a decision we need to "remember" to make every morning after we wake up.
Studies show that if you do something twenty-one times in a row (but not like a robot in immediate succession), that "function" should be ingrained enough to where it becomes second nature after a while.
A simple note on the bathroom mirror, one just above the door knob of your bedroom or some other place where you're sure to see it every morning--for 21 days---should do the trick. Give it a shot.
A wonderful life
Choosing a wonderful life over (just) life can make the difference between success and failure, peace and chaos, love and hate, and integrity plays a key role in those decisions.
Chose to be like the young man laying the brick to build what he believes to be the greatest cathedral in the whole world.
Chose to plant a seed that will become the immovable oak.
Chose to be like the janitor that maintains a clean household.
Chose to be a cup that can hold water and is half full instead of half empty.
You can do it, it's as simple as a decision--one of many that will be based on wisdom, good judgment, discernment and knowledge.
Chose to incorporate integrity in your life today.
That, my friend, is integrity.
Interesting Experience
Defining Integrity In a nutshell...or in this case, in a fortune cookie.
The other day I was having lunch with two friends, Ken Mac Court and Sam Quick, at a Chinese restaurant in Flagstaff, Arizona when I received an interesting "fortune" from the traditional after-dinner fortune cookie (that I usually smash on the table, work through the pieces for the "fortune," then consider the alleged "fortune" and toss what's left--I don't like the cookie, just the fortune):
On this particular day the unusually unique "fortune" read:
"Integrity is doing the right thing, even if nobody is watching."
After I stopped coughing and finally got some air as a result of the shock of reading something so prevalent in my constant search to define words that I want to apply to my life, I realized that this "fortune" was by far the most profound, applicable and true "fortune" cookie I had ever received.
Such a simple yet concise definition of the word integrity from a fortune cookie? I could hardly believe it!
Source: http://webweevers.com/integrity.htm
Monday December 16, 2002 This information/essay is copyrighted and protected by copyscape
According to Merriam Webster, integrity is:
1: firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values : INCORRUPTIBILITY
2: an unimpaired condition: SOUNDNESS
3: the quality or state of being complete or undivided: COMPLETENESS
synonym see HONESTY
According to Oxford Dictionary, (the origin of) integrity is:
integrity
/integriti/
Noun
• 1 - the quality of being honest and morally upright.
• 2 - the state of being whole or unified.
• 3 - soundness of construction.
— ORIGIN - Latin: integritas; from integer ‘intact, whole’.
A few thoughts on the matter
The following information is simply an opinion based on life experiences and a personal understanding of truth and honesty--which are part of the foundational aspects of true integrity.
Integrity is a skill
As with all skills, they're developed and learned over time. For example, few people have an inherent skill in math and most people must learn the rules and exceptions associated with math to finally get a grasp on the concept. As a result, math is learned after repeating special techniques over and over including doing some memorization. This is also true with Integrity.
Training
A qualified carpenter must endure years of training, practice and exposure to building materials and circumstances that call for his talent. Integrity must also endure years of practice and exposure, for integrity is NOT necessarily inherent within a person's personality. Instead, integrity is a trait that is taught and learned over an entire lifetime.
Point of reference
Integrity is a guideline, a benchmark, a point of reference or a goal that is used to make decisions that rely on truth and honesty. All things are related to this point of reference and judged accordingly. To maintain integrity, you must remember to refer to truth and honesty in ALL decisions, thoughts, actions and reactions. That's not an option if you are to have and maintain integrity.
A great tower
Integrity is something that a person builds and maintains during a lifetime. You can consider integrity as a building within a person's heart that starts when the person is young. This "building" begins with the first hole that is dug. Once the hole is dug, the foundation is laid--usually by parents and other leaders (church and school instructors). The walls follow with windows and doors added along the way. The windows would allow for transparency and serve as a type of checks-and-balances. The doors would allow for modifications of a person's definition of integrity to easily take place--hopefully for the better. The roof is added later and serves to protect from outside forces.
Re-building
Just as you can re-build a house when it falls down, so too can you re-establish integrity if you fall away from it's blessings.
Tomorrow is a new day
Leaving the past where it is, picking up the pieces and moving on is critical if you choose to "turn over a new leaf." Keys that lead to success in this endeavor include 1) understanding, 2) grasping the reigns tightly and 3) implementing a new and improved plan that allows tomorrow to be a clean slate for you to work with. Let the past go and concentrate on the present and the future.
Looking back is important for learning from our mistakes...but leave it at that. Don't bring the past into the future for any other reason, if it's tainted in any way. Make new memories. Memories that are ethical and moral. Memories that blare and echo with integrity.
A plant
Integrity can also be considered as a seed. It is planted in youth, watered in childhood and blossoms in adulthood. The more you water it throughout life, the more it grows and blooms. Just as it is with plants, if neglected at any point, it WILL wither and die. If your plant has died, simply plant a new seed and water it daily! Note that a plant does not blossom immediately but must go through a life cycle first. So, integrity will take a while to get used to...again.
Maintenance
Integrity must be maintained. A janitor cleans and straightens rooms for a living. You must be a janitor and maintain true integrity. If you avoid the dust that settles, your definition of integrity begins to diminish and decrease in value. A strict maintenance schedule must be kept or what has taken a lifetime to build will come crumbling down in minutes.
Loss
It's critical to note that integrity can be lost or compromised beyond recognition in a person's life. I've been there and am in the process of re-establishing integrity in my life...and it's not easy. Recognizing that integrity has been compromised or is totally lost from your life is the first step of many. The second step is to do something about it--and that would be to make the decision to plant a new seed and water it daily...even minute-to-minute.
Holding up to the test
Consider a cup that cannot hold water. A person that lives their life without integrity is like that cup. The crack may be invisible to the eye, but if it doesn't hold up to the test, it's virtually worthless. Many people walk around with a small crack that is easily hidden, but time reveals their flaw.
Honesty
...a totally separate issue that definitely applies to real integrity. To be honest is to apply integrity to a situation or instance. The two go hand-in-hand without exception or separation. There are few things that complicate an issue or hurt more than dishonesty. At least honesty leaves a person with some sense of closure and dignity...despite the fact that it may sometimes really hurt to know the truth.
The role of integrity in "love"
Integrity helps to define love. Although many things collectively define love, Integrity is a little different in that it plays a unique role. Integrity acts as a binder of the many things that help to describe the meaning of love. Integrity helps to keep all the things that make up love, together so that love is constant and pure. Without a binder such as water, bread would be nothing more than baked powder with seasoning. Paper would be a collection of loose fibers.
Integrity can help to define you by acting as a binder that keeps your words, your thoughts and your actions honest, worthy and admirable.
Other definitions
People can tweak or modify their definition of integrity to suit their needs, desires and ambitions at the time. For that reason, it's possible to have a large number of definitions of the word or state of affairs in a person's life--but that doesn't necessarily mean they're all sound definitions.
Integrity will:
* begin and continue as a personal ON-GOING decision to stand firm on principals that are inherently good.
* most likely take the long, straight and narrow road and does not cave into cheating.
* tell the truth over a lie despite the consequences.
* suffer the consequences instead of compromise itself.
* help to steer a person clear of those that easily bow to a corrupt nature.
* be apt to lend a helping hand simply as a by-product of this special lifestyle decision.
* diminish and eventually disappear if you choose to ignore and abandon it's blessing.
* set you apart from a great number of people who have chosen to follow the lead of a different drummer.
* sometimes separate you from the "in" crowd, but that's not always the case.
* on some occasions, make other people feel uncomfortable around you because of their own insecurities, problems and guilt.
* impress others only because of your decision to adhere to such a (sometimes) difficult lifestyle.
* sometimes put you into tight situations that APPEAR to be needlessly difficult.
* allow for rebuilding. It will come back and continue to blossom if you choose and allow it to grow within.
Integrity will NOT:
* allow for decisions that may compromise personal belief and faith.
* always APPEAR to help a situation.
* be an easy decision for all situations.
* be Disneyland and roses all the time.
* give in to peer pressure simply because "everyone's doing it."
* give up on you--you can always re-establish integrity by making a conscious effort to re-build what past mistakes have broken down.
* in an obvious way come to the rescue of a person.
Benefits
Integrity always benefits a person, but the benefit is NOT always immediately recognizable. In fact, some times the benefits of Integrity are not obvious for many years down the road. It's possible for a person to live most of their lives and not see the benefits of integrity until late in life. It's different for everyone and doesn't mean it's better or worse for you, it just means it's different, that's all.
Notice
As a side note, please know that in many cases, "things are not as they appear."
Experiences
Integrity is NOT a one time experience or situation. Instead, Integrity is an on-going experience of a collection of situations where sound decisions are made based on good judgment, discernment, wisdom and knowledge.
By-Products
Integrity has its by-products. As you become more familiar with a lifestyle that allows for integrity to bloom wild and free, life is usually filled with more and more peace--a by-product. After a while of on-going decisions guided by integrity, people begin to take notice. Employers begin to place more trust in you and your abilities. Friends rely more and more on your apparent wisdom. Better decisions lead to a better life.
Misdirected hate
As a direct result of your decision to establish integrity within yourself, you will gain favor with many people. Others will hate you for it--another by-product. People hate other people for the weirdest reasons. Someone dedicated to truth and honesty is a typical target. There are many reasons for this misdirected hate, but the most common reason is their own insecurity (referring to the person who hates). People WILL be threatened by you because of your decision to maintain integrity.
Personal definition
This personal definition of integrity is an attempt to offer an unbiased presentation of what integrity can and cannot mean. That is to say this definition of integrity:
* is in no way the one-and-only true definition;
* may actually serve to corrupt someone's definition of integrity--BUT this definition has a sincere intention to help explain the many sides of integrity's purity and benefits so that the reader can decide for themselves.
* should help to answer some of the many questions people may have about integrity and the possible role it may play in a person's life, decision making, thoughts, actions and destiny.
* should broaden one's insight about how much of a role integrity plays in their daily life, even minute-to-minute.
The great cathedral
Remember, you can live life the way you want, for good or for evil. But I'd like to suggest the following story for your consideration:
Back in the middle ages (1200-1600 A.D.) a great cathedral was being built by many skilled laborers. One day a strange man came to town and asked each of the men what they were doing.
One man answered, "I have to lay this brick to feed my nagging wife and my many ungrateful children."
Another answered by saying, "I'm just trying to pass the time until I die and at the same time keep myself afloat."
Another man said, "I'm following my father's footsteps and doing what I'm told."
An old man answered, "I am a mason, this is what I do."
Yet another man was heard saying, "I do this because I have many debts to pay."
Then the stranger saw a young man laying brick who was working feverishly unlike the other workers. Intrigued, the stranger questioned this young man next.
After being questioned, the young brick layer stopped, starred at the yet unfinished building and answered by saying, "I'm taking part in the greatest building project in history. A cathedral unlike any other in the world. One of surpassing beauty and size. This cathedral will be the greatest the world has ever seen.
I'm only laying the block, but my efforts will help this great cathedral to stand the test of time so future generations can marvel at and appreciate it's awesome beauty."
Needless to say, the previous story about the building of the cathedral reveals that it's not what you have to do, it's not what you want to do or what you think you should do, but it's about how you do all things in life.
How you do what you have to do, how you do what you want to do, and how you do what you think you should do, will determine your success. You'll "have to do things," you'll "want to do things," and you'll "think you should do things" your whole life, but it's the quality of how you do them that really matters.
Integrity plays a critical part in quality decisions, thoughts and actions. It'll be obvious in how you act and react to expected and unexpected circumstances.
The "Gifted" Musician
Everybody enjoys one or several types of music, regardless of their sex, culture, age or beliefs. Music is truly one of the few universal avenues to express yourself to where others will consider your art despite who you might be in their eyes.
Most people only enjoy listening to music, but few enjoy listening and creating music. Some musicians are good, some are better and then there are those who are exceptionally good--considered to have the "gift" of music. But even they have to practice.
I attended a concert recently where a fan of the featured musician anxiously walked up to his favorite performer and said;
"you're an outstanding musician!"
The artist replied by saying;
"thank you, I appreciate you saying so. I practice every day."
Just as the great musician must practice everyday to maintain his high level of artistic talent, so too must we practice implementing integrity into our every-day lives.
Remembering
Allowing integrity to seep out only every now-and-then is not acceptable if we are to benefit fully from the blessing that integrity has to offer over a lifetime.
Integrity should be allowed to flow freely in the mainstream of our thoughts and actions. That, realistically, does not happen over night. It's a decision we must make every morning after we wake up. It's a decision we need to "remember" to make every morning after we wake up.
Studies show that if you do something twenty-one times in a row (but not like a robot in immediate succession), that "function" should be ingrained enough to where it becomes second nature after a while.
A simple note on the bathroom mirror, one just above the door knob of your bedroom or some other place where you're sure to see it every morning--for 21 days---should do the trick. Give it a shot.
A wonderful life
Choosing a wonderful life over (just) life can make the difference between success and failure, peace and chaos, love and hate, and integrity plays a key role in those decisions.
Chose to be like the young man laying the brick to build what he believes to be the greatest cathedral in the whole world.
Chose to plant a seed that will become the immovable oak.
Chose to be like the janitor that maintains a clean household.
Chose to be a cup that can hold water and is half full instead of half empty.
You can do it, it's as simple as a decision--one of many that will be based on wisdom, good judgment, discernment and knowledge.
Chose to incorporate integrity in your life today.
That, my friend, is integrity.
Interesting Experience
Defining Integrity In a nutshell...or in this case, in a fortune cookie.
The other day I was having lunch with two friends, Ken Mac Court and Sam Quick, at a Chinese restaurant in Flagstaff, Arizona when I received an interesting "fortune" from the traditional after-dinner fortune cookie (that I usually smash on the table, work through the pieces for the "fortune," then consider the alleged "fortune" and toss what's left--I don't like the cookie, just the fortune):
On this particular day the unusually unique "fortune" read:
"Integrity is doing the right thing, even if nobody is watching."
After I stopped coughing and finally got some air as a result of the shock of reading something so prevalent in my constant search to define words that I want to apply to my life, I realized that this "fortune" was by far the most profound, applicable and true "fortune" cookie I had ever received.
Such a simple yet concise definition of the word integrity from a fortune cookie? I could hardly believe it!
Source: http://webweevers.com/integrity.htm
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Be who you are...
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
~ Dr. Seuss
~ Dr. Seuss
Monday, December 14, 2009
Just words
"I love you" and "I'm sorry" are pretty words. But when they are not backed up with action they are just words.
-- Trixie Racer
-- Trixie Racer
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Love is Blind
“But love is blind, and lovers cannot see What petty follies they themselves commit”
-- William Shakespeare
-- William Shakespeare
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Yesterday is a canceled check...
Yesterday is a canceled check...
Tomorrow is a promissory note...
Today is cash
...spend it wisely.
-- Unknown
Tomorrow is a promissory note...
Today is cash
...spend it wisely.
-- Unknown
Thoughts
If you think you are beaten, you are;
if you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't, it's almost a cinch you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you're lost.
For out in the world we find success begins with a fellow's will; it's all a state of mind.
Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man; but soon or late the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.
-- Unknown
if you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't, it's almost a cinch you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you're lost.
For out in the world we find success begins with a fellow's will; it's all a state of mind.
Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man; but soon or late the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.
-- Unknown
Monday, December 7, 2009
Alternate Serenity Prayer
Found this today:
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill because they pissed me off and also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill because they pissed me off and also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Herbert Spencer on "Contempt prior to investigation"
"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance--- that principle is CONTEMPT PRIOR TO INVESTIGATION!!!!!!!!" -- Herbert Spencer
Friday, November 20, 2009
Can't find the STRENGTH to get back up?
Nick Vujicic and his attitude serve as a great examples of the celebration of life over limitations.
The human spirit can handle much more than we realize.
"I LOVE LIVING LIFE. I AM HAPPY."
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Think you've got it bad?
Need some encouragement?
Fallen down?
Can't find the STRENGTH to get back up?
Watch this video. It will help. Then share it with others.
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"If I fail, I try again, and again, and again..."
If YOU fail, are YOU going to try again?
It matters how you're going to FINISH...
Are you going to finish STRONG?
We are put in situations to build our character... not destroy us.
The tensions in our life are there to strengthen our convictions... not to run over us.
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Nick is thankful for what he HAS.
He's not bitter for what he does NOT have.
I have never met a bitter person who was thankful.
I have never met a thankful person who was bitter.
In life you have a choice: Bitter or BETTER?
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Can Miles...
Can miles truly separate you from friends.... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there? ~Richard Bach
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Believe nothing...unless it agrees with your own reason and own common sense.
"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense"
- Siddhartha Gautama
- Siddhartha Gautama
Friday, October 2, 2009
What you see in others has more to do with who you are than with who other people are
“What you see in others has more to do with who you are than with who other people are.”
- Epictetus
- Epictetus
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Time Tested Beauty Tips
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; Never throw out anybody.
Remember, If you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!
--Sam Levenson
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; Never throw out anybody.
Remember, If you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!
--Sam Levenson
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Here are over 100 ideas to help you keep monogamy hot!
Find out what music your lover likes, and play it.
Sing to each other, especially if you can't sing. Listen to a song that turns you on and write the words out so you will remember them. Then without any music sing that song as a surprise gift to your lover. Watch the tears come to their eyes.
Find out what scents your lover likes, e.g., perfumes and especially essential oils. Get an essential oil diffuser.
Wear the clothes your lover likes. Try something wild in latex.
Serve the food your lover likes.
Select locations for lovemaking that your partner likes.
Prepare yourself for stimulating conversation. Do some homework if necessary to have something interesting to talk about.
Give lots of compliments on a regular basis.
Compliment you lover in front of others.
Tell each other all the things you like and appreciate about each other. Do this every day.
Show your body to your lover. Let them look as long as they like.
Take your clothes off while your lover watches.
Tease your partner with partial nudity at unexpected times, like when your mother or children are in the other room. Be artful and naughty about it so only your lover sees you.
Explore each other's bodies with your eyes, hands and tongues.
Hold a mirror for your partner to look at their own genitals.
Women, touch your lover's genitals with sighs of desire from time to time, even when out in public (discretely).
Men, nibble on your partner's neck with sighs of desire from time to time, even when out in public.
Give each other a sensual massage. Try short 5 minute full body massages on a daily basis, as well as longer versions (one hour or longer) when time permits. Use an exotic massage oil. You can mix some yourself with an excellent essential oil in a base of first cold press grapeseed (canola) oil.
Create a temple-of-love space in anticipation of your lovemaking. Make your space beautiful. Keep it simple.
Create your own rituals & ceremonies. Keep it simple.
Tell each other what turns you on. If they don't know they can't give it to you.
Read and/or write erotic poetry and stories.
Watch erotic, romantic movies and videos.
Take a bath or shower together. Even small tubs are great fun. Make a mess.
Wash each other's bodies. Be kind and gentle and provocative, or raucous and wild, whatever you're both into.
Wash each other's feet. Use a small dishpan and some wonderful natural soap. Rub on an aromatic foot lotion.
Suck on your partner's squeaky-clean toes.
Feed each other food and drink. Use your fingers. Make a mess.
Read stories out loud to each other.
Wear costumes and masks as part of your foreplay. Oooh, mystery!
Tie each other up. Men especially love to be tied up.
Paint each other's bodies. Use washable/edible body paint or chocolate sauce you make yourself or buy.
Wash each other's hair.
Give each other pedicures.
Prepare sensual meals together. Fondle and tease each other as you work/play.
Watch the sun come up or go down, or the moon go across the water.
Lie out under the stars. Sleep out under the stars.
Make flower arrangements together, fresh or dried.
Send each other erotic post cards without any special occasion.
Write love letters to each other.
Say the words "I love you. I need you. I want you."
Whisper words of adoration in your lover's ears before, during and after love making.
Talk "dirty" in your lover's ears in the heat of passion during your lovemaking.
Hold hands in public.
Go on picnics.
Call each other by "sucky" pet names.
Make foreplay go on and on and on and on and....
Men, help your woman come to orgasm before intercourse - at least some times!
Men, be sure she is wet, before you put your golden rod into her fig pocket!
Romance each other for hours, with intercourse on and off the whole time. Men, learn to delay ejaculation!
Cuddle after intercourse. Look into each other's eyes. Say words of love and adoration. Thank the God and Goddess for their favors.
Cry in front of each other.
Share what you are feeling. Risk being vulnerable.
Try different lovemaking positions. Experiment.
Try different lovemaking locations. Experiment.
Use love toys. Experiment.
Laugh during intercourse. Laugh before intercourse. Laugh after intercourse.
Offer unexpected gifts. Keep it simple, but thoughtful. Pick the right thing, not the biggest or most expensive thing.
Remember special occasions. Special occasions should be special!
Say please and thank you for sexual favors and for many small things each day. "Whether the pretty woman grants or withholds her favors, she always likes to be asked for them."
Surprise your lover with the unexpected. Experiment.
Try something new. Experiment.
Try something dangerous. Experiment.
Try something outrageous. Experiment.
Try something kinky. Experiment.
Try something you are afraid of. Experiment.
Try something forbidden. Experiment.
Share your fantasies. Act them out with each other. Don't ever share fantasies about someone else with your lover!
Masturbate each other.
Masturbate in front of each other.
Dress up for a romantic dinner.
Eat dinner by candlelight.
Make love by candlelight.
Put on little skits (acts) for each other. Experiment.
Be foolish and playful. Experiment.
Drop something that is really important for you to do, and make love instead.
Call when you are away and say "I miss you terribly. I can't wait to get home to hold you."
Talk "dirty" over the phone to each other.
Shop for sex toys and lingerie together.
Ladies, wear garter belt and stockings instead of pantyhose.
Put blindfolds on each other during foreplay and intercourse, sometimes.
Role play: innocent high school student, slut, nurse, stripper, master, slave, bad boy or girl, etc.
Look into each other's eyes, if possible until tears follow the opening of your heart in love.
Match the rhythm of your breathing during lovemaking.
Take rapid breaths to heat up your excitement.
Take long, deep, slow breaths to maintain a high level of excitement without going over into orgasm. Prolonging the orgasmic excitement leads to ecstasy.
Just hold each other.
Talk where one only listens. The one who listens does not try to take any responsibility, does not try to intervene or "fix" anything. Just listen. This is harder to do than it sounds.
Give each other a 10-second kiss when coming and going.
Make out like high school kids, without intercourse.
Practice Tantra Sacred Sex muscle control, breathing and visualization together. If you don't know how, take a workshop together.
Give each other flowers regularly. Men love to receive flowers too!
Have fresh flowers around as often as possible.
Have lots of green healthy plants in the house.
Notice all the little things you do for each other, that you regularly take for granted, and let each other know how important they are to you. Show your appreciation.
Spend time remembering wondrous past experiences together when you were happy and joyous.
Take turns leading when dancing slow.
In conversation always use loving names when referring to your genitals, e.g., jade stalk, wand of light, mystery cave, succulent flower, etc.
Make plans for the future.
Talk about spending the rest of your life together.
Write out your vision for the kind of relationship you want to create together.
Display your relationship vision/dream where you will see it often.
Serve each other breakfast in bed.
Sleep together NAKED! Curl around each other like spoons. Roll over together to change positions in the night.
In the morning when you wake up lying naked together, the man goes between the woman's legs. If he is not aroused, he will use the soft entry by wetting his penis with saliva (or any suitable
lubricant such as water based or silicone lubricants, or any cooking oil) and inserting it into her vagina. Lie still with your eyes open and match your breathing for 2-5 minutes.
Found at: http://sacramento.craigslist.org/mis/1105982786.html
Sing to each other, especially if you can't sing. Listen to a song that turns you on and write the words out so you will remember them. Then without any music sing that song as a surprise gift to your lover. Watch the tears come to their eyes.
Find out what scents your lover likes, e.g., perfumes and especially essential oils. Get an essential oil diffuser.
Wear the clothes your lover likes. Try something wild in latex.
Serve the food your lover likes.
Select locations for lovemaking that your partner likes.
Prepare yourself for stimulating conversation. Do some homework if necessary to have something interesting to talk about.
Give lots of compliments on a regular basis.
Compliment you lover in front of others.
Tell each other all the things you like and appreciate about each other. Do this every day.
Show your body to your lover. Let them look as long as they like.
Take your clothes off while your lover watches.
Tease your partner with partial nudity at unexpected times, like when your mother or children are in the other room. Be artful and naughty about it so only your lover sees you.
Explore each other's bodies with your eyes, hands and tongues.
Hold a mirror for your partner to look at their own genitals.
Women, touch your lover's genitals with sighs of desire from time to time, even when out in public (discretely).
Men, nibble on your partner's neck with sighs of desire from time to time, even when out in public.
Give each other a sensual massage. Try short 5 minute full body massages on a daily basis, as well as longer versions (one hour or longer) when time permits. Use an exotic massage oil. You can mix some yourself with an excellent essential oil in a base of first cold press grapeseed (canola) oil.
Create a temple-of-love space in anticipation of your lovemaking. Make your space beautiful. Keep it simple.
Create your own rituals & ceremonies. Keep it simple.
Tell each other what turns you on. If they don't know they can't give it to you.
Read and/or write erotic poetry and stories.
Watch erotic, romantic movies and videos.
Take a bath or shower together. Even small tubs are great fun. Make a mess.
Wash each other's bodies. Be kind and gentle and provocative, or raucous and wild, whatever you're both into.
Wash each other's feet. Use a small dishpan and some wonderful natural soap. Rub on an aromatic foot lotion.
Suck on your partner's squeaky-clean toes.
Feed each other food and drink. Use your fingers. Make a mess.
Read stories out loud to each other.
Wear costumes and masks as part of your foreplay. Oooh, mystery!
Tie each other up. Men especially love to be tied up.
Paint each other's bodies. Use washable/edible body paint or chocolate sauce you make yourself or buy.
Wash each other's hair.
Give each other pedicures.
Prepare sensual meals together. Fondle and tease each other as you work/play.
Watch the sun come up or go down, or the moon go across the water.
Lie out under the stars. Sleep out under the stars.
Make flower arrangements together, fresh or dried.
Send each other erotic post cards without any special occasion.
Write love letters to each other.
Say the words "I love you. I need you. I want you."
Whisper words of adoration in your lover's ears before, during and after love making.
Talk "dirty" in your lover's ears in the heat of passion during your lovemaking.
Hold hands in public.
Go on picnics.
Call each other by "sucky" pet names.
Make foreplay go on and on and on and on and....
Men, help your woman come to orgasm before intercourse - at least some times!
Men, be sure she is wet, before you put your golden rod into her fig pocket!
Romance each other for hours, with intercourse on and off the whole time. Men, learn to delay ejaculation!
Cuddle after intercourse. Look into each other's eyes. Say words of love and adoration. Thank the God and Goddess for their favors.
Cry in front of each other.
Share what you are feeling. Risk being vulnerable.
Try different lovemaking positions. Experiment.
Try different lovemaking locations. Experiment.
Use love toys. Experiment.
Laugh during intercourse. Laugh before intercourse. Laugh after intercourse.
Offer unexpected gifts. Keep it simple, but thoughtful. Pick the right thing, not the biggest or most expensive thing.
Remember special occasions. Special occasions should be special!
Say please and thank you for sexual favors and for many small things each day. "Whether the pretty woman grants or withholds her favors, she always likes to be asked for them."
Surprise your lover with the unexpected. Experiment.
Try something new. Experiment.
Try something dangerous. Experiment.
Try something outrageous. Experiment.
Try something kinky. Experiment.
Try something you are afraid of. Experiment.
Try something forbidden. Experiment.
Share your fantasies. Act them out with each other. Don't ever share fantasies about someone else with your lover!
Masturbate each other.
Masturbate in front of each other.
Dress up for a romantic dinner.
Eat dinner by candlelight.
Make love by candlelight.
Put on little skits (acts) for each other. Experiment.
Be foolish and playful. Experiment.
Drop something that is really important for you to do, and make love instead.
Call when you are away and say "I miss you terribly. I can't wait to get home to hold you."
Talk "dirty" over the phone to each other.
Shop for sex toys and lingerie together.
Ladies, wear garter belt and stockings instead of pantyhose.
Put blindfolds on each other during foreplay and intercourse, sometimes.
Role play: innocent high school student, slut, nurse, stripper, master, slave, bad boy or girl, etc.
Look into each other's eyes, if possible until tears follow the opening of your heart in love.
Match the rhythm of your breathing during lovemaking.
Take rapid breaths to heat up your excitement.
Take long, deep, slow breaths to maintain a high level of excitement without going over into orgasm. Prolonging the orgasmic excitement leads to ecstasy.
Just hold each other.
Talk where one only listens. The one who listens does not try to take any responsibility, does not try to intervene or "fix" anything. Just listen. This is harder to do than it sounds.
Give each other a 10-second kiss when coming and going.
Make out like high school kids, without intercourse.
Practice Tantra Sacred Sex muscle control, breathing and visualization together. If you don't know how, take a workshop together.
Give each other flowers regularly. Men love to receive flowers too!
Have fresh flowers around as often as possible.
Have lots of green healthy plants in the house.
Notice all the little things you do for each other, that you regularly take for granted, and let each other know how important they are to you. Show your appreciation.
Spend time remembering wondrous past experiences together when you were happy and joyous.
Take turns leading when dancing slow.
In conversation always use loving names when referring to your genitals, e.g., jade stalk, wand of light, mystery cave, succulent flower, etc.
Make plans for the future.
Talk about spending the rest of your life together.
Write out your vision for the kind of relationship you want to create together.
Display your relationship vision/dream where you will see it often.
Serve each other breakfast in bed.
Sleep together NAKED! Curl around each other like spoons. Roll over together to change positions in the night.
In the morning when you wake up lying naked together, the man goes between the woman's legs. If he is not aroused, he will use the soft entry by wetting his penis with saliva (or any suitable
lubricant such as water based or silicone lubricants, or any cooking oil) and inserting it into her vagina. Lie still with your eyes open and match your breathing for 2-5 minutes.
Found at: http://sacramento.craigslist.org/mis/1105982786.html
Friday, April 3, 2009
John Lennon quotes
"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans"
"Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted."
"There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life."
"There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be..."
"When you're drowning you don't think, "I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me." You just scream."
"Make your own dream.
That's the Beatles' story, isn't it? That's Yoko's story, that's what I'm saying now. Produce your own dream. If you want to save Peru, go save Peru. It's quite possible to do anything, but not to put it on the leaders and the parking meters. Don't expect Jimmy Carter or Ronald Reagan or John Lennon or Yoko Ono or Bob Dylan or Jesus Christ to come and do it for you. You have to do it yourself.
That's what the great masters and mistresses have been saying ever since time began. They can point the way, leave signposts and little instructions in various books that are now called holy and worshipped for the cover of the book and not for what it says, but the instructions are all there for all to see, have always been and always will be.
There's nothing new under the sun. All the roads lead to Rome. And people cannot provide it for you. I can't wake you up. You can wake you up. I can't cure you. You can cure you."
"Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted."
"There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life."
"There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be..."
"When you're drowning you don't think, "I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me." You just scream."
"Make your own dream.
That's the Beatles' story, isn't it? That's Yoko's story, that's what I'm saying now. Produce your own dream. If you want to save Peru, go save Peru. It's quite possible to do anything, but not to put it on the leaders and the parking meters. Don't expect Jimmy Carter or Ronald Reagan or John Lennon or Yoko Ono or Bob Dylan or Jesus Christ to come and do it for you. You have to do it yourself.
That's what the great masters and mistresses have been saying ever since time began. They can point the way, leave signposts and little instructions in various books that are now called holy and worshipped for the cover of the book and not for what it says, but the instructions are all there for all to see, have always been and always will be.
There's nothing new under the sun. All the roads lead to Rome. And people cannot provide it for you. I can't wake you up. You can wake you up. I can't cure you. You can cure you."
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
BUSTED: The Citizen's Guide to Surviving Police Encounters
How to exercise your constitutional rights during encounters with police.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
10 Questions Never to Ask in Job Interviews
by: Liz Ryan
You know enough to bring a list of questions to a job interview. When the interviewer asks you, "So, do you have any questions for me?" the last thing? You want to say is "No." But that could be the best option if you're at a loss for words, because some interview questions are better left unasked.
Here are 10 highly unsuitable interview questions that should never make an appearance, unless you don't want the job:
1. "What does your company do?"
This was a reasonable interview question in 1950 or in 1980, before the Internet existed. Today, it's your job to research any company you're interviewing with before setting foot in the door. We need to show up for a job interview knowing what the employer does, who its competitors are, and which of its accomplishments (or challenges) have made the news lately.
2. "Are you going to do a background check?"
It is amazing how many job candidates ask this question, which provokes alarm on the part of the interviewer, instead of the more general, "Can you please tell me a little about your selection process, from this point on?" Lots of people have credit issues that cause them worry during a job search, or aren't sure how solid their references from a previous job might be. If you're invited for a second interview, you can broach any sensitive topics from your past then. Asking "Will you do a background check?" makes you look like a person with something to hide.
3. "When will I be eligible for a raise?"
Companies fear underpaying people almost as much as they fear overpaying them, because a person who's underpaid vis-a-vis his counterparts in the job market is a person with one eye on the career sites. Instead of asking about your first raise before you've got the job, you can ask (at a second interview) "Does your organization do a conventional one-year performance and salary review?"
4. "Do you have any other jobs available?"
A job search requires quick thinking about straight talk, and if a job is far below your abilities, you're better off saying so than beating around the bush with this question. You don't have to take yourself out of the running; you can say, "The job sounds interesting, but frankly I was earning 30% more and supervising people in my last job. Could you help me understand the career path for this role?" That's the cue for the interviewer, if he or she is on the ball, to highlight another job opening that might exist.
5. "How soon can I transfer to another position?"
You're broadcasting "I'm outta here at the first chance" when you ask this question. If you like the job, take the job. If it's not for you, wait for the right opportunity. Almost every employer will keep you in your seat for at least one year before approving an internal transfer, so a job-search bait-and-switch probably won't work out the way you'd hoped.
6. "Can you tell me about bus lines to your facility?"
Get online and research this yourself. It's not your employer's problem to figure out how you get to work.
7. "Do you have smoking breaks?"
If you're working in retail or in a call center, you could ask about breaks. Everyone else, keep mum; if your need to smoke intrudes so much on your work life that you feel the need to ask about it, ask your best friend or significant other for smoking-cessation help as a new-job present. Lots of companies don't permit smoking anywhere on the premises, and some don't like to hire smokers at all. Why give an employer a reason to turn you down?
8. "Is [my medical condition] covered under your insurance?"
This is a bad question on two counts. You don't want to tell a perfect stranger about your medical issues, especially one who's deciding whether or not to hire you. Ask to see a copy of the company's benefits booklet when an offer has been extended. This is also a bad question from a judgment standpoint; no department managers and only a tiny percentage of HR people could be expected to know on a condition-by-condition basis what's covered under the health plan. Anyway, your pre-existing condition won't be covered under most corporate plans for at least a year.
9. "Do you do a drug test?"
If you have a philosophical objection to drug tests, wait until they ask you to take a drug test and tell them about your objection. Otherwise, your question sounds like, "I'd fail a drug test," so don't ask.
10. "If you hire me, can I wait until [more than three weeks from now] to start the job?"
Employers expect you to give two weeks' notice. If you're not working, they'd love to see you more quickly. If you ask for tons of time off before you start working -- unless you have a very good reason -- the employer may think, "How serious is this candidate about working?" In any case, a start-date extension is something to request after you've got the offer in hand, not before.
Liz Ryan is a 25-year HR veteran, former Fortune 500 VP and an internationally recognized expert on careers and the new millennium workplace. Contact Liz at liz@asklizryan.com or join the Ask Liz Ryan online community at www.asklizryan/group.
The opinions expressed in this column are solely the author's.
Source: http://hotjobs.yahoo.com/career-experts-10_questions_never_to_ask_in_job_interviews-82
You know enough to bring a list of questions to a job interview. When the interviewer asks you, "So, do you have any questions for me?" the last thing? You want to say is "No." But that could be the best option if you're at a loss for words, because some interview questions are better left unasked.
Here are 10 highly unsuitable interview questions that should never make an appearance, unless you don't want the job:
1. "What does your company do?"
This was a reasonable interview question in 1950 or in 1980, before the Internet existed. Today, it's your job to research any company you're interviewing with before setting foot in the door. We need to show up for a job interview knowing what the employer does, who its competitors are, and which of its accomplishments (or challenges) have made the news lately.
2. "Are you going to do a background check?"
It is amazing how many job candidates ask this question, which provokes alarm on the part of the interviewer, instead of the more general, "Can you please tell me a little about your selection process, from this point on?" Lots of people have credit issues that cause them worry during a job search, or aren't sure how solid their references from a previous job might be. If you're invited for a second interview, you can broach any sensitive topics from your past then. Asking "Will you do a background check?" makes you look like a person with something to hide.
3. "When will I be eligible for a raise?"
Companies fear underpaying people almost as much as they fear overpaying them, because a person who's underpaid vis-a-vis his counterparts in the job market is a person with one eye on the career sites. Instead of asking about your first raise before you've got the job, you can ask (at a second interview) "Does your organization do a conventional one-year performance and salary review?"
4. "Do you have any other jobs available?"
A job search requires quick thinking about straight talk, and if a job is far below your abilities, you're better off saying so than beating around the bush with this question. You don't have to take yourself out of the running; you can say, "The job sounds interesting, but frankly I was earning 30% more and supervising people in my last job. Could you help me understand the career path for this role?" That's the cue for the interviewer, if he or she is on the ball, to highlight another job opening that might exist.
5. "How soon can I transfer to another position?"
You're broadcasting "I'm outta here at the first chance" when you ask this question. If you like the job, take the job. If it's not for you, wait for the right opportunity. Almost every employer will keep you in your seat for at least one year before approving an internal transfer, so a job-search bait-and-switch probably won't work out the way you'd hoped.
6. "Can you tell me about bus lines to your facility?"
Get online and research this yourself. It's not your employer's problem to figure out how you get to work.
7. "Do you have smoking breaks?"
If you're working in retail or in a call center, you could ask about breaks. Everyone else, keep mum; if your need to smoke intrudes so much on your work life that you feel the need to ask about it, ask your best friend or significant other for smoking-cessation help as a new-job present. Lots of companies don't permit smoking anywhere on the premises, and some don't like to hire smokers at all. Why give an employer a reason to turn you down?
8. "Is [my medical condition] covered under your insurance?"
This is a bad question on two counts. You don't want to tell a perfect stranger about your medical issues, especially one who's deciding whether or not to hire you. Ask to see a copy of the company's benefits booklet when an offer has been extended. This is also a bad question from a judgment standpoint; no department managers and only a tiny percentage of HR people could be expected to know on a condition-by-condition basis what's covered under the health plan. Anyway, your pre-existing condition won't be covered under most corporate plans for at least a year.
9. "Do you do a drug test?"
If you have a philosophical objection to drug tests, wait until they ask you to take a drug test and tell them about your objection. Otherwise, your question sounds like, "I'd fail a drug test," so don't ask.
10. "If you hire me, can I wait until [more than three weeks from now] to start the job?"
Employers expect you to give two weeks' notice. If you're not working, they'd love to see you more quickly. If you ask for tons of time off before you start working -- unless you have a very good reason -- the employer may think, "How serious is this candidate about working?" In any case, a start-date extension is something to request after you've got the offer in hand, not before.
Liz Ryan is a 25-year HR veteran, former Fortune 500 VP and an internationally recognized expert on careers and the new millennium workplace. Contact Liz at liz@asklizryan.com or join the Ask Liz Ryan online community at www.asklizryan/group.
The opinions expressed in this column are solely the author's.
Source: http://hotjobs.yahoo.com/career-experts-10_questions_never_to_ask_in_job_interviews-82
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