An open letter to the dumbass who punched my window.

Reply to: pers-567842156@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-02-08, 7:23PM PST

Dear ignorant ass,

You will remember me as the guy in the white ford f-250 today. You were driving a rather sketchy looking honda with a ICP sticker in the backwindow. I was behind you at the light.

Now, let me start with the fact that I exercise extreme patience. Really, I do try to not get frazzled in certain situations.


Traffic light turns green. You don't go. I don't know what you were doing... smoking a joint, jerking off, beating your wife, I don't really care. But whatever it was caused you not to take your foot off the large pedal, and put it on the long skinny one on the right.

I went by my 5 second rule. That means I gave you five seconds, then, and not in an obnoxious way, (more like a Wiley Coyote vs. Roadrunner sort of way) I honked my horn 2x.

Meep Meep.

Now. Maybe you had a bad day, maybe you were high, maybe you are an enviromental activist who couldn't stand me driving a diesel powered automobile. I don't know, and once again, I don't care.

You, being for some reason very irritated, careened out of your car, slammed the door, and charged my truck. Spikey haircut, cut-off tee, worn out shorts and all, you charge directly to my side window.

You weren't armed. So I just sat there, window up, with a look of, well, not surprise, but confusion. Really? Are you that pissed I honked at you?

You screamed, cursed, and spit on my window. You now, obviously upset that I have not accepted your invitation to fisti-cuffs, nor rolled down my window, proceed to punch said window...

It didn't break. Duh. You watch too much TV. I'll bet it hurt like a bitch though.

I will stop here for a sidenote. Remember that I said you were not armed? I therefore did not classify you as a viable threat at the time.

See, the entire time you were pulling your shit-fit, my right hand was crossed over my waist, my 9mm Beretta was already drawn, round chambered, safety off, just sitting there, aimed through my armrest, at you. Less than a foot away.

Had you made a move for your pocket, obtained something from your car that could be used as a weapon, or actually gotten through that window, you most likely would not have made it to where you were going in very good shape.

Ever see a 9mm round go through a door? I have. Several times. I'm the guy who gives classes to teach other guys how to kill people. Doors don't stop bullets,,, no, they just slow them down, cause them to tumble, therefore tearing into your flesh with the glass and power window parts from the door.

I can draw from the holster and put a round on target in under a second. By my calculations, I could have reloaded twice (that's all the magazines I had). That means I could have dumped 45 Rounds into you... all before the light went red again.

But I am a patient man.

I actually like people, and value life.

So, I say to you dumbshit... be thankfull I wasn't having the kind of day you were having.

And, thankfully for you, you smartened up, and went back to your car, had you not, I would have exited said truck, pistol whipped your bitch ass, and beat you like you owe me money.

TO YOU, AND ALL DUMBSHITS LIKE THIS... I WARN YOU... THIS IS NEVADA, NOT CALIFORNIA, MOST OF US HAVE GUNS, AND THANKS TO NICE, LIBERAL LAWS, THE SMARTER OF US AREN'T AFRAID TO USE THE.

GROW THE FUCK UP AND ACT LIKE ADULTS, SO YOUR FAMILY WON'T TRY TO SUE ME LATER ON WHEN I MAKE A WIDOW OF YOUR WIFE.

Peace out.

Found at: http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/rnr/567842156.html