We're all in the gutter but some of us are looking up at the stars

"We're all in the gutter but some of us are looking up at the stars."
-- Oscar Wilde

Be you

"I want you to be everything that's you, deep at the center of your being."

-- Confucius

Be Yourself

"Always be a first rate version of yourself, and not a second rate version of someone else." -Judy Garland

Definition of Integrity

By: Chris Czach Hidalgo ©
Monday December 16, 2002 This information/essay is copyrighted and protected by copyscape

According to Merriam Webster, integrity is:
1: firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values : INCORRUPTIBILITY
2: an unimpaired condition: SOUNDNESS
3: the quality or state of being complete or undivided: COMPLETENESS
synonym see HONESTY



According to Oxford Dictionary, (the origin of) integrity is:
integrity
/integriti/

Noun

• 1 - the quality of being honest and morally upright.

• 2 - the state of being whole or unified.

• 3 - soundness of construction.

— ORIGIN - Latin: integritas; from integer ‘intact, whole’.


A few thoughts on the matter
The following information is simply an opinion based on life experiences and a personal understanding of truth and honesty--which are part of the foundational aspects of true integrity.

Integrity is a skill
As with all skills, they're developed and learned over time. For example, few people have an inherent skill in math and most people must learn the rules and exceptions associated with math to finally get a grasp on the concept. As a result, math is learned after repeating special techniques over and over including doing some memorization. This is also true with Integrity.

Training
A qualified carpenter must endure years of training, practice and exposure to building materials and circumstances that call for his talent. Integrity must also endure years of practice and exposure, for integrity is NOT necessarily inherent within a person's personality. Instead, integrity is a trait that is taught and learned over an entire lifetime.

Point of reference
Integrity is a guideline, a benchmark, a point of reference or a goal that is used to make decisions that rely on truth and honesty. All things are related to this point of reference and judged accordingly. To maintain integrity, you must remember to refer to truth and honesty in ALL decisions, thoughts, actions and reactions. That's not an option if you are to have and maintain integrity.

A great tower
Integrity is something that a person builds and maintains during a lifetime. You can consider integrity as a building within a person's heart that starts when the person is young. This "building" begins with the first hole that is dug. Once the hole is dug, the foundation is laid--usually by parents and other leaders (church and school instructors). The walls follow with windows and doors added along the way. The windows would allow for transparency and serve as a type of checks-and-balances. The doors would allow for modifications of a person's definition of integrity to easily take place--hopefully for the better. The roof is added later and serves to protect from outside forces.

Re-building
Just as you can re-build a house when it falls down, so too can you re-establish integrity if you fall away from it's blessings.

Tomorrow is a new day
Leaving the past where it is, picking up the pieces and moving on is critical if you choose to "turn over a new leaf." Keys that lead to success in this endeavor include 1) understanding, 2) grasping the reigns tightly and 3) implementing a new and improved plan that allows tomorrow to be a clean slate for you to work with. Let the past go and concentrate on the present and the future.

Looking back is important for learning from our mistakes...but leave it at that. Don't bring the past into the future for any other reason, if it's tainted in any way. Make new memories. Memories that are ethical and moral. Memories that blare and echo with integrity.

A plant
Integrity can also be considered as a seed. It is planted in youth, watered in childhood and blossoms in adulthood. The more you water it throughout life, the more it grows and blooms. Just as it is with plants, if neglected at any point, it WILL wither and die. If your plant has died, simply plant a new seed and water it daily! Note that a plant does not blossom immediately but must go through a life cycle first. So, integrity will take a while to get used to...again.

Maintenance
Integrity must be maintained. A janitor cleans and straightens rooms for a living. You must be a janitor and maintain true integrity. If you avoid the dust that settles, your definition of integrity begins to diminish and decrease in value. A strict maintenance schedule must be kept or what has taken a lifetime to build will come crumbling down in minutes.

Loss
It's critical to note that integrity can be lost or compromised beyond recognition in a person's life. I've been there and am in the process of re-establishing integrity in my life...and it's not easy. Recognizing that integrity has been compromised or is totally lost from your life is the first step of many. The second step is to do something about it--and that would be to make the decision to plant a new seed and water it daily...even minute-to-minute.

Holding up to the test
Consider a cup that cannot hold water. A person that lives their life without integrity is like that cup. The crack may be invisible to the eye, but if it doesn't hold up to the test, it's virtually worthless. Many people walk around with a small crack that is easily hidden, but time reveals their flaw.

Honesty
...a totally separate issue that definitely applies to real integrity. To be honest is to apply integrity to a situation or instance. The two go hand-in-hand without exception or separation. There are few things that complicate an issue or hurt more than dishonesty. At least honesty leaves a person with some sense of closure and dignity...despite the fact that it may sometimes really hurt to know the truth.

The role of integrity in "love"
Integrity helps to define love. Although many things collectively define love, Integrity is a little different in that it plays a unique role. Integrity acts as a binder of the many things that help to describe the meaning of love. Integrity helps to keep all the things that make up love, together so that love is constant and pure. Without a binder such as water, bread would be nothing more than baked powder with seasoning. Paper would be a collection of loose fibers.

Integrity can help to define you by acting as a binder that keeps your words, your thoughts and your actions honest, worthy and admirable.

Other definitions
People can tweak or modify their definition of integrity to suit their needs, desires and ambitions at the time. For that reason, it's possible to have a large number of definitions of the word or state of affairs in a person's life--but that doesn't necessarily mean they're all sound definitions.



Integrity will:

* begin and continue as a personal ON-GOING decision to stand firm on principals that are inherently good.

* most likely take the long, straight and narrow road and does not cave into cheating.

* tell the truth over a lie despite the consequences.

* suffer the consequences instead of compromise itself.

* help to steer a person clear of those that easily bow to a corrupt nature.

* be apt to lend a helping hand simply as a by-product of this special lifestyle decision.

* diminish and eventually disappear if you choose to ignore and abandon it's blessing.

* set you apart from a great number of people who have chosen to follow the lead of a different drummer.

* sometimes separate you from the "in" crowd, but that's not always the case.

* on some occasions, make other people feel uncomfortable around you because of their own insecurities, problems and guilt.

* impress others only because of your decision to adhere to such a (sometimes) difficult lifestyle.

* sometimes put you into tight situations that APPEAR to be needlessly difficult.

* allow for rebuilding. It will come back and continue to blossom if you choose and allow it to grow within.


Integrity will NOT:

* allow for decisions that may compromise personal belief and faith.

* always APPEAR to help a situation.

* be an easy decision for all situations.

* be Disneyland and roses all the time.

* give in to peer pressure simply because "everyone's doing it."

* give up on you--you can always re-establish integrity by making a conscious effort to re-build what past mistakes have broken down.

* in an obvious way come to the rescue of a person.


Benefits
Integrity always benefits a person, but the benefit is NOT always immediately recognizable. In fact, some times the benefits of Integrity are not obvious for many years down the road. It's possible for a person to live most of their lives and not see the benefits of integrity until late in life. It's different for everyone and doesn't mean it's better or worse for you, it just means it's different, that's all.

Notice
As a side note, please know that in many cases, "things are not as they appear."

Experiences
Integrity is NOT a one time experience or situation. Instead, Integrity is an on-going experience of a collection of situations where sound decisions are made based on good judgment, discernment, wisdom and knowledge.

By-Products
Integrity has its by-products. As you become more familiar with a lifestyle that allows for integrity to bloom wild and free, life is usually filled with more and more peace--a by-product. After a while of on-going decisions guided by integrity, people begin to take notice. Employers begin to place more trust in you and your abilities. Friends rely more and more on your apparent wisdom. Better decisions lead to a better life.

Misdirected hate
As a direct result of your decision to establish integrity within yourself, you will gain favor with many people. Others will hate you for it--another by-product. People hate other people for the weirdest reasons. Someone dedicated to truth and honesty is a typical target. There are many reasons for this misdirected hate, but the most common reason is their own insecurity (referring to the person who hates). People WILL be threatened by you because of your decision to maintain integrity.

Personal definition
This personal definition of integrity is an attempt to offer an unbiased presentation of what integrity can and cannot mean. That is to say this definition of integrity:

* is in no way the one-and-only true definition;

* may actually serve to corrupt someone's definition of integrity--BUT this definition has a sincere intention to help explain the many sides of integrity's purity and benefits so that the reader can decide for themselves.

* should help to answer some of the many questions people may have about integrity and the possible role it may play in a person's life, decision making, thoughts, actions and destiny.

* should broaden one's insight about how much of a role integrity plays in their daily life, even minute-to-minute.


The great cathedral
Remember, you can live life the way you want, for good or for evil. But I'd like to suggest the following story for your consideration:

Back in the middle ages (1200-1600 A.D.) a great cathedral was being built by many skilled laborers. One day a strange man came to town and asked each of the men what they were doing.

One man answered, "I have to lay this brick to feed my nagging wife and my many ungrateful children."

Another answered by saying, "I'm just trying to pass the time until I die and at the same time keep myself afloat."

Another man said, "I'm following my father's footsteps and doing what I'm told."

An old man answered, "I am a mason, this is what I do."

Yet another man was heard saying, "I do this because I have many debts to pay."

Then the stranger saw a young man laying brick who was working feverishly unlike the other workers. Intrigued, the stranger questioned this young man next.

After being questioned, the young brick layer stopped, starred at the yet unfinished building and answered by saying, "I'm taking part in the greatest building project in history. A cathedral unlike any other in the world. One of surpassing beauty and size. This cathedral will be the greatest the world has ever seen.

I'm only laying the block, but my efforts will help this great cathedral to stand the test of time so future generations can marvel at and appreciate it's awesome beauty."

Needless to say, the previous story about the building of the cathedral reveals that it's not what you have to do, it's not what you want to do or what you think you should do, but it's about how you do all things in life.

How you do what you have to do, how you do what you want to do, and how you do what you think you should do, will determine your success. You'll "have to do things," you'll "want to do things," and you'll "think you should do things" your whole life, but it's the quality of how you do them that really matters.

Integrity plays a critical part in quality decisions, thoughts and actions. It'll be obvious in how you act and react to expected and unexpected circumstances.

The "Gifted" Musician
Everybody enjoys one or several types of music, regardless of their sex, culture, age or beliefs. Music is truly one of the few universal avenues to express yourself to where others will consider your art despite who you might be in their eyes.

Most people only enjoy listening to music, but few enjoy listening and creating music. Some musicians are good, some are better and then there are those who are exceptionally good--considered to have the "gift" of music. But even they have to practice.

I attended a concert recently where a fan of the featured musician anxiously walked up to his favorite performer and said;

"you're an outstanding musician!"

The artist replied by saying;

"thank you, I appreciate you saying so. I practice every day."

Just as the great musician must practice everyday to maintain his high level of artistic talent, so too must we practice implementing integrity into our every-day lives.

Remembering
Allowing integrity to seep out only every now-and-then is not acceptable if we are to benefit fully from the blessing that integrity has to offer over a lifetime.

Integrity should be allowed to flow freely in the mainstream of our thoughts and actions. That, realistically, does not happen over night. It's a decision we must make every morning after we wake up. It's a decision we need to "remember" to make every morning after we wake up.

Studies show that if you do something twenty-one times in a row (but not like a robot in immediate succession), that "function" should be ingrained enough to where it becomes second nature after a while.

A simple note on the bathroom mirror, one just above the door knob of your bedroom or some other place where you're sure to see it every morning--for 21 days---should do the trick. Give it a shot.

A wonderful life
Choosing a wonderful life over (just) life can make the difference between success and failure, peace and chaos, love and hate, and integrity plays a key role in those decisions.

Chose to be like the young man laying the brick to build what he believes to be the greatest cathedral in the whole world.

Chose to plant a seed that will become the immovable oak.

Chose to be like the janitor that maintains a clean household.

Chose to be a cup that can hold water and is half full instead of half empty.

You can do it, it's as simple as a decision--one of many that will be based on wisdom, good judgment, discernment and knowledge.

Chose to incorporate integrity in your life today.

That, my friend, is integrity.



Interesting Experience

Defining Integrity In a nutshell...or in this case, in a fortune cookie.

The other day I was having lunch with two friends, Ken Mac Court and Sam Quick, at a Chinese restaurant in Flagstaff, Arizona when I received an interesting "fortune" from the traditional after-dinner fortune cookie (that I usually smash on the table, work through the pieces for the "fortune," then consider the alleged "fortune" and toss what's left--I don't like the cookie, just the fortune):

On this particular day the unusually unique "fortune" read:

"Integrity is doing the right thing, even if nobody is watching."

After I stopped coughing and finally got some air as a result of the shock of reading something so prevalent in my constant search to define words that I want to apply to my life, I realized that this "fortune" was by far the most profound, applicable and true "fortune" cookie I had ever received.

Such a simple yet concise definition of the word integrity from a fortune cookie? I could hardly believe it!

Source: http://webweevers.com/integrity.htm

Be who you are...

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
~ Dr. Seuss

Just words

"I love you" and "I'm sorry" are pretty words. But when they are not backed up with action they are just words.

-- Trixie Racer

Love is Blind

“But love is blind, and lovers cannot see What petty follies they themselves commit”
-- William Shakespeare

Yesterday is a canceled check...

Yesterday is a canceled check...

Tomorrow is a promissory note...

Today is cash
...spend it wisely.

-- Unknown

Thoughts

If you think you are beaten, you are;
if you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't, it's almost a cinch you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you're lost.
For out in the world we find success begins with a fellow's will; it's all a state of mind.
Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man; but soon or late the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

-- Unknown

Alternate Serenity Prayer

Found this today:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill because they pissed me off and also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.

Herbert Spencer on "Contempt prior to investigation"

"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance--- that principle is CONTEMPT PRIOR TO INVESTIGATION!!!!!!!!" -- Herbert Spencer

Can't find the STRENGTH to get back up?

Nick Vujicic and his attitude serve as a great examples of the celebration of life over limitations.

The human spirit can handle much more than we realize.

"I LOVE LIVING LIFE. I AM HAPPY."

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Think you've got it bad?
Need some encouragement?
Fallen down?
Can't find the STRENGTH to get back up?

Watch this video. It will help. Then share it with others.

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"If I fail, I try again, and again, and again..."
If YOU fail, are YOU going to try again?

It matters how you're going to FINISH...
Are you going to finish STRONG?

We are put in situations to build our character... not destroy us.

The tensions in our life are there to strengthen our convictions... not to run over us.

---------------------------------------- ------------------------

Nick is thankful for what he HAS.
He's not bitter for what he does NOT have.

I have never met a bitter person who was thankful.
I have never met a thankful person who was bitter.

In life you have a choice: Bitter or BETTER?

Can Miles...

Can miles truly separate you from friends.... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there? ~Richard Bach

Believe nothing...unless it agrees with your own reason and own common sense.

"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense"

- Siddhartha Gautama

What you see in others has more to do with who you are than with who other people are

“What you see in others has more to do with who you are than with who other people are.”
- Epictetus

Time Tested Beauty Tips

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; Never throw out anybody.

Remember, If you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

--Sam Levenson

Here are over 100 ideas to help you keep monogamy hot!

Find out what music your lover likes, and play it.

Sing to each other, especially if you can't sing. Listen to a song that turns you on and write the words out so you will remember them. Then without any music sing that song as a surprise gift to your lover. Watch the tears come to their eyes.

Find out what scents your lover likes, e.g., perfumes and especially essential oils. Get an essential oil diffuser.

Wear the clothes your lover likes. Try something wild in latex.

Serve the food your lover likes.

Select locations for lovemaking that your partner likes.

Prepare yourself for stimulating conversation. Do some homework if necessary to have something interesting to talk about.

Give lots of compliments on a regular basis.

Compliment you lover in front of others.

Tell each other all the things you like and appreciate about each other. Do this every day.

Show your body to your lover. Let them look as long as they like.

Take your clothes off while your lover watches.

Tease your partner with partial nudity at unexpected times, like when your mother or children are in the other room. Be artful and naughty about it so only your lover sees you.

Explore each other's bodies with your eyes, hands and tongues.

Hold a mirror for your partner to look at their own genitals.

Women, touch your lover's genitals with sighs of desire from time to time, even when out in public (discretely).

Men, nibble on your partner's neck with sighs of desire from time to time, even when out in public.

Give each other a sensual massage. Try short 5 minute full body massages on a daily basis, as well as longer versions (one hour or longer) when time permits. Use an exotic massage oil. You can mix some yourself with an excellent essential oil in a base of first cold press grapeseed (canola) oil.

Create a temple-of-love space in anticipation of your lovemaking. Make your space beautiful. Keep it simple.

Create your own rituals & ceremonies. Keep it simple.

Tell each other what turns you on. If they don't know they can't give it to you.

Read and/or write erotic poetry and stories.

Watch erotic, romantic movies and videos.

Take a bath or shower together. Even small tubs are great fun. Make a mess.

Wash each other's bodies. Be kind and gentle and provocative, or raucous and wild, whatever you're both into.

Wash each other's feet. Use a small dishpan and some wonderful natural soap. Rub on an aromatic foot lotion.

Suck on your partner's squeaky-clean toes.

Feed each other food and drink. Use your fingers. Make a mess.

Read stories out loud to each other.

Wear costumes and masks as part of your foreplay. Oooh, mystery!

Tie each other up. Men especially love to be tied up.

Paint each other's bodies. Use washable/edible body paint or chocolate sauce you make yourself or buy.

Wash each other's hair.

Give each other pedicures.

Prepare sensual meals together. Fondle and tease each other as you work/play.

Watch the sun come up or go down, or the moon go across the water.

Lie out under the stars. Sleep out under the stars.

Make flower arrangements together, fresh or dried.

Send each other erotic post cards without any special occasion.

Write love letters to each other.

Say the words "I love you. I need you. I want you."

Whisper words of adoration in your lover's ears before, during and after love making.

Talk "dirty" in your lover's ears in the heat of passion during your lovemaking.

Hold hands in public.

Go on picnics.

Call each other by "sucky" pet names.

Make foreplay go on and on and on and on and....

Men, help your woman come to orgasm before intercourse - at least some times!

Men, be sure she is wet, before you put your golden rod into her fig pocket!

Romance each other for hours, with intercourse on and off the whole time. Men, learn to delay ejaculation!

Cuddle after intercourse. Look into each other's eyes. Say words of love and adoration. Thank the God and Goddess for their favors.

Cry in front of each other.

Share what you are feeling. Risk being vulnerable.

Try different lovemaking positions. Experiment.

Try different lovemaking locations. Experiment.

Use love toys. Experiment.

Laugh during intercourse. Laugh before intercourse. Laugh after intercourse.

Offer unexpected gifts. Keep it simple, but thoughtful. Pick the right thing, not the biggest or most expensive thing.

Remember special occasions. Special occasions should be special!

Say please and thank you for sexual favors and for many small things each day. "Whether the pretty woman grants or withholds her favors, she always likes to be asked for them."

Surprise your lover with the unexpected. Experiment.

Try something new. Experiment.

Try something dangerous. Experiment.

Try something outrageous. Experiment.

Try something kinky. Experiment.

Try something you are afraid of. Experiment.

Try something forbidden. Experiment.

Share your fantasies. Act them out with each other. Don't ever share fantasies about someone else with your lover!

Masturbate each other.

Masturbate in front of each other.

Dress up for a romantic dinner.

Eat dinner by candlelight.

Make love by candlelight.

Put on little skits (acts) for each other. Experiment.

Be foolish and playful. Experiment.

Drop something that is really important for you to do, and make love instead.

Call when you are away and say "I miss you terribly. I can't wait to get home to hold you."

Talk "dirty" over the phone to each other.

Shop for sex toys and lingerie together.

Ladies, wear garter belt and stockings instead of pantyhose.

Put blindfolds on each other during foreplay and intercourse, sometimes.

Role play: innocent high school student, slut, nurse, stripper, master, slave, bad boy or girl, etc.

Look into each other's eyes, if possible until tears follow the opening of your heart in love.

Match the rhythm of your breathing during lovemaking.

Take rapid breaths to heat up your excitement.

Take long, deep, slow breaths to maintain a high level of excitement without going over into orgasm. Prolonging the orgasmic excitement leads to ecstasy.

Just hold each other.

Talk where one only listens. The one who listens does not try to take any responsibility, does not try to intervene or "fix" anything. Just listen. This is harder to do than it sounds.

Give each other a 10-second kiss when coming and going.

Make out like high school kids, without intercourse.

Practice Tantra Sacred Sex muscle control, breathing and visualization together. If you don't know how, take a workshop together.

Give each other flowers regularly. Men love to receive flowers too!

Have fresh flowers around as often as possible.

Have lots of green healthy plants in the house.

Notice all the little things you do for each other, that you regularly take for granted, and let each other know how important they are to you. Show your appreciation.

Spend time remembering wondrous past experiences together when you were happy and joyous.

Take turns leading when dancing slow.

In conversation always use loving names when referring to your genitals, e.g., jade stalk, wand of light, mystery cave, succulent flower, etc.

Make plans for the future.

Talk about spending the rest of your life together.

Write out your vision for the kind of relationship you want to create together.

Display your relationship vision/dream where you will see it often.

Serve each other breakfast in bed.

Sleep together NAKED! Curl around each other like spoons. Roll over together to change positions in the night.

In the morning when you wake up lying naked together, the man goes between the woman's legs. If he is not aroused, he will use the soft entry by wetting his penis with saliva (or any suitable
lubricant such as water based or silicone lubricants, or any cooking oil) and inserting it into her vagina. Lie still with your eyes open and match your breathing for 2-5 minutes.

Found at: http://sacramento.craigslist.org/mis/1105982786.html

John Lennon quotes

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans"

---

"Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted."

---

"There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life."

---

"There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be..."

---

"When you're drowning you don't think, "I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me." You just scream."

---

"Make your own dream.

That's the Beatles' story, isn't it? That's Yoko's story, that's what I'm saying now. Produce your own dream. If you want to save Peru, go save Peru. It's quite possible to do anything, but not to put it on the leaders and the parking meters. Don't expect Jimmy Carter or Ronald Reagan or John Lennon or Yoko Ono or Bob Dylan or Jesus Christ to come and do it for you. You have to do it yourself.

That's what the great masters and mistresses have been saying ever since time began. They can point the way, leave signposts and little instructions in various books that are now called holy and worshipped for the cover of the book and not for what it says, but the instructions are all there for all to see, have always been and always will be.

There's nothing new under the sun. All the roads lead to Rome. And people cannot provide it for you. I can't wake you up. You can wake you up. I can't cure you. You can cure you."

BUSTED: The Citizen's Guide to Surviving Police Encounters

How to exercise your constitutional rights during encounters with police.

10 Questions Never to Ask in Job Interviews

by: Liz Ryan

You know enough to bring a list of questions to a job interview. When the interviewer asks you, "So, do you have any questions for me?" the last thing? You want to say is "No." But that could be the best option if you're at a loss for words, because some interview questions are better left unasked.

Here are 10 highly unsuitable interview questions that should never make an appearance, unless you don't want the job:

1. "What does your company do?"
This was a reasonable interview question in 1950 or in 1980, before the Internet existed. Today, it's your job to research any company you're interviewing with before setting foot in the door. We need to show up for a job interview knowing what the employer does, who its competitors are, and which of its accomplishments (or challenges) have made the news lately.

2. "Are you going to do a background check?"
It is amazing how many job candidates ask this question, which provokes alarm on the part of the interviewer, instead of the more general, "Can you please tell me a little about your selection process, from this point on?" Lots of people have credit issues that cause them worry during a job search, or aren't sure how solid their references from a previous job might be. If you're invited for a second interview, you can broach any sensitive topics from your past then. Asking "Will you do a background check?" makes you look like a person with something to hide.

3. "When will I be eligible for a raise?"
Companies fear underpaying people almost as much as they fear overpaying them, because a person who's underpaid vis-a-vis his counterparts in the job market is a person with one eye on the career sites. Instead of asking about your first raise before you've got the job, you can ask (at a second interview) "Does your organization do a conventional one-year performance and salary review?"

4. "Do you have any other jobs available?"
A job search requires quick thinking about straight talk, and if a job is far below your abilities, you're better off saying so than beating around the bush with this question. You don't have to take yourself out of the running; you can say, "The job sounds interesting, but frankly I was earning 30% more and supervising people in my last job. Could you help me understand the career path for this role?" That's the cue for the interviewer, if he or she is on the ball, to highlight another job opening that might exist.

5. "How soon can I transfer to another position?"
You're broadcasting "I'm outta here at the first chance" when you ask this question. If you like the job, take the job. If it's not for you, wait for the right opportunity. Almost every employer will keep you in your seat for at least one year before approving an internal transfer, so a job-search bait-and-switch probably won't work out the way you'd hoped.

6. "Can you tell me about bus lines to your facility?"
Get online and research this yourself. It's not your employer's problem to figure out how you get to work.

7. "Do you have smoking breaks?"
If you're working in retail or in a call center, you could ask about breaks. Everyone else, keep mum; if your need to smoke intrudes so much on your work life that you feel the need to ask about it, ask your best friend or significant other for smoking-cessation help as a new-job present. Lots of companies don't permit smoking anywhere on the premises, and some don't like to hire smokers at all. Why give an employer a reason to turn you down?

8. "Is [my medical condition] covered under your insurance?"
This is a bad question on two counts. You don't want to tell a perfect stranger about your medical issues, especially one who's deciding whether or not to hire you. Ask to see a copy of the company's benefits booklet when an offer has been extended. This is also a bad question from a judgment standpoint; no department managers and only a tiny percentage of HR people could be expected to know on a condition-by-condition basis what's covered under the health plan. Anyway, your pre-existing condition won't be covered under most corporate plans for at least a year.

9. "Do you do a drug test?"
If you have a philosophical objection to drug tests, wait until they ask you to take a drug test and tell them about your objection. Otherwise, your question sounds like, "I'd fail a drug test," so don't ask.

10. "If you hire me, can I wait until [more than three weeks from now] to start the job?"
Employers expect you to give two weeks' notice. If you're not working, they'd love to see you more quickly. If you ask for tons of time off before you start working -- unless you have a very good reason -- the employer may think, "How serious is this candidate about working?" In any case, a start-date extension is something to request after you've got the offer in hand, not before.

Liz Ryan is a 25-year HR veteran, former Fortune 500 VP and an internationally recognized expert on careers and the new millennium workplace. Contact Liz at liz@asklizryan.com or join the Ask Liz Ryan online community at www.asklizryan/group.
The opinions expressed in this column are solely the author's.

Source: http://hotjobs.yahoo.com/career-experts-10_questions_never_to_ask_in_job_interviews-82

ok a tangent about cock size

I've been going through craigslist a lot out of bordem and just to see who and what's out there. GUYS LISTEN THE FUCK UP THIS IS IMPORTANT! The word "HUNG" is so over used. Just because you have a penis and it hangs does not mean you are hung. What is with all these guys posting pictures of a little tiny penis or even an average one and saying they're hung? I mean I'm not a size queen but that's like calista flockheart saying she's chesty because she has nipples. Wake the fuck up people seriously. I mean to each their own but the average dick size according to google is like 5- 5ish inches so by that assumption lets say if you're under at least 7 inches you have no right to say you're hung. Also if you're face looks like bill clinton and your body looks like rosie o donnel you are not hot or sexy. What is with the hideous fatty mc fattersons saying I'm hot and hung when they weigh about the same as a vw bug and are as equipt as a mosquito. Seriously people stop embarassing yourself and for fucks sake STOP BREEDING! God Damn cretins! I like money... do you like sex AND money? idiots lol

Courtesy of Nicky The Capricorn Cunt

Feeling better can prevent getting sick!

Physics 101: "A body in motion stays in motion."

* Enjoying the outdoors

* Spending more time with friends,
nurture and cherish your relationships.
Share yourself; open up, expand and include.
Invest in your relationships: give to others,
and allow others to contribute to you.

* Doing more of the things that make you feel good,
perhaps watching funny movies and receiving regular massages

* Practicing yoga and relaxation every day,
even if it's only for five (5) minutes

* Becoming responsible for everything in your life;
Stop complaining, hating, carrying grudges

* Eating mindfully and sensibly. Always sit down when eating and
enjoy every single bite to the fullest. Remember what we eat
shows up in the body and changes our brain chemistry.

* Have and create more fun for yourself and others
around you. Value your friends.
Regularly set aside some time to be with them.

* Eat and drink more of what is good for you,
foods that are freshly cooked. Lots of fruits, vegetables.
Plenty of water (not too cold) before breakfast and between meals.

* Learn to forgive. Forgiveness is freeing.
It allows you to release the past and live in the now.
It is the ultimate gift you can give yourself.

* Learn to communicate with your body;
it does not speak English!
It communicates in feelings and sensations.
Be attentive to your body.
When you feel discomfort, find the cause and fix it.

* Follow your heart, your gut feeling
your body can take care of you, be nice to it.

Ohm

Found at: http://www.yogaofindia.com/this_week.htm

Don't make someone a priority if they only make you an option

"Don't make someone a priority if they only make you an option..."

The Dash

THE DASH

IN MEMORY OF SWEET "J"

JENNIFER L. RECORD



I READ OF A GIRL WHO STOOD TO SPEEK AT THE FUNERAL OF HER FRIEND.SHE REFERRED TO THE DATES ON HER TOMBSTONE FROM THE BEGINNING... TO THE END. SHE NOTED THE FIRST DATE WAS THE ONE OF HER BIRTH, & SHE SPOKE OF THE SECOND WITH TEARS. BUT WHAT SHE SAID MATTERED THE MOST OF ALL WAS "THE DASH" BETWEEN THOSE YEARS.

FOR "THE DASH" REPRESENTS ALL THE TIME THAT SHE SPENT ALIVE ON EARTH. AND NOW ONLY THOSE WHO LOVED HER KNOW WHAT THAT LITTLE LINE IS WORTH. FOR IT MATTERS NOT HOW MUCH WE OWN ... THE CARS, THE HOUSE, THE CASH. WHAT MATTERS IS... HOW WE LIVE & LOVE AND HOW WE SPEND "OUR DASH".

SO THINK LONG & HARD... ARE THERE THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO CHANGE???

FOR YOU NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH TIME IS LEFT. YOU COULD BE IN "THE DASH" END RANGE!

IF WE COULD SLOW DOWN ENOUGH TO CONSIDER WHAT'S TRUE & WHAT'S REAL, & ALWAYS TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE WAY THAT OTHER PEOPLE FEEL & BE LESS QUICK TO ANGER & SHOW APPRECIATION MORE, & LOVE THE PEOPLE IN OUR LIVES, LIKE WE'VE NEVER LOVED BEFOR.

IF WE TREAT EACH OTHER WITH RESPECT , & MORE OFTEN WEAR A SMILE. -REMEMBER THAT THIS SPECIAL "DASH" MIGHT ONLY LAST A LITTLE WHILE.

SO WHEN AT LAST THE TIME HAS COME FOR YOUR LIFE'S ACTIONS TO REHASH,

WILL YOU BE PLEASED WITH THE THINGS THEY SAY ABOUT THE WAY YOU SPENT

-"YOUR DASH"?

Found at: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=154364126&blogID=404047608

Change

from: "The Doctor's Opinion"

"Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks - drinks which they see others taking with impunity.... Unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery."

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive?

"Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it ... It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for ... and the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more." - Erica Jong

Discussion

Be the change!

Why is it that certain behaviors deemed tolerable in adults are suddenly shocking when exhibited by children? This 90-second public service announcement by a nonprofit organization in Australia begs this very question–prompting any adult who watches to reconsider their responsibility to any child, and to one another.

Be the Change!

Out of Control Male Ego

Dr. Phil - Out of Control Male Ego - May 7, 2008 Part 1


Dr. Phil - Out of Control Male Ego - May 7, 2008 Part 2


Dr. Phil - Out of Control Male Ego - May 7, 2008 Part 3


Dr. Phil - Out of Control Male Ego - May 7, 2008 Part 4


Dr. Phil - Out of Control Male Ego - May 7, 2008 Part 5

Create Your Life Story

Mahatma Ghandi once said: "My life is my message."

So, what's your message?

And is it your truth?

When you choose a path that is honourable and true to your self as well as others, your life story begins in earnest.


Your life becomes a message - an inspiration to others.


Your message can change the world for the better. You can inspire one person or change the lives of many.


Even the smallest change can make a difference.


As long as truth runs throughout your story, you will always be on the right path.


Even if that path becomes difficult at times, you will know in your heart that the journey is the right one.


Life is an adventure and the journey is the reward.


So, what adventure are you going to have?

Remember ... you have a choice. You always have a choice.


So start creating your life story.


Remember, you can be the hero of your story ... you can save the world and even have time for romance!

Make sure your story has an inspiring message running through it.


And think on ... every good story has a happy ending!

Cheers to the best day ever!

--Robert Tew from www.livelifehappy.com

Stay true to yourself

When you stop living your life for yourself and start living it as two meshed into one you are only doing a disservice to yourself and to the one you love.

When you stop doing the things you love, going places you love to go and hanging around people you've always loved-you are taking pieces of you away that one day you may find hard to get back. And you will want them back.

Love someone. Love them for who they are. If they love you for who you are-great. If you try and change each other-change interests, friends, hobbies, style, beliefs-If you try and chain one another to the other every day, not allowing them to grow and explore this world at times alone and free-you will only have regrets.

One day that person will not be in your life. Could be tomorrow, next week, next year...could be 40 years from now. But one day they will not be there. You will awake one day to find you are indeed alone. That you have spent "x" amount of time losing yourself just to please another...and now that other is gone. You will regret not doing things you wished to had done, giving up people you loved, giving up a piece of you that made you who you were.

it is better to be alone, then to be loved for what you are not.

Found at: http://sacramento.craigslist.org/mis/668346726.html

Ways to Make Saving a Habit

by Andrea Coombes

What's your excuse? When it comes to the sorry state of our finances, we've all got one.

Maybe your raise at work never materialized, or you charged that unexpected car-repair bill -- or that plasma TV -- to your credit card. Whatever the reason, for many of us, personal balance sheets could look better. Half of U.S. workers report less than $25,000 in savings.

Even if you've saved more, is it enough to sustain you through a decades-long retirement?

Sure, plenty of consumers now are easing back on spending, thanks to sticker shock at the grocery store and gas station. But soon enough retailers and restaurants will be pushing hard-to-resist "recession deals" -- will you be able to restrain yourself? And, what happens to your budget-minded ways when the economy recovers?

It's time to shake off the "consumer" mantle that politicians and economists are so happy to drape around our shoulders. Resist their calls for consumers to save the economy, and resist the advertisements enveloping us in the idea that we need more and more things.

The only thing most of us need more of is financial security. A lot more.

How to get there? Think thrift. For some, it's a familiar idea. For others, thrift implies denial and deprivation, and that makes for a tough call-to-arms.

So, how to save money without scrimping, be thrifty without feeling miserly -- and maintain those habits after our economy picks up speed?

It won't be easy. Expect discomfort, says Kathleen Gurney, a psychologist and chief executive of Financial Psychology Corp. Keep going, even when it's uncomfortable -- the rewards are worth it, and once this economic slowdown ends, you'll have financial habits in place to support you for a lifetime.

1. Spend less time feeling poor. Flipping through catalogs and going to the mall will make you feel like you need things, Ms. Gurney notes. Sure, you can afford some of that stuff, but the main message is: Most of this is out of your reach. Instead, do things that offer a sense of well-being. Invite friends over. Walk in the park.

2. Retrain your brain. Depriving ourselves of current pleasure is nigh impossible if we're not driven by a sense that the future will be more fulfilling, says Ms. Gurney. When you start to feel that "I'm deserving so I'm buying" feeling, visualize a smaller credit-card bill or higher savings-account balance.

3. Look around you. Are you happy with what your hard-earned dollars bought? If not, shift your spending to those things that bring greater long-term satisfaction, including retirement savings.

4. Choose your extravagances. Here's mine: I eat out about once a week. An extravagance I do without: Cable television.

5. Assess weaknesses. "If you were thrifty, how would you look different?" says Gary Buffone, a financial psychologist in Jacksonville, Fla. Identify what you want to change; then shoot for specific targets, such as a six-month hold on buying new tech gadgets.

6. Make trade-offs. Substitute small, free pleasures for those that cost. Have a movie night at home with friends -- you'd be surprised how many people are equally eager to cut costs.

7. Set goals. Meet weekly with family to discuss the spending plan (don't call it a budget) for the months and years ahead. This may involve tough choices, such as forsaking a family vacation. But think of the guilt-free trip you can take after saving the necessary cash. Good memories last longer, Ms. Gurney notes, when not trammeled by large credit-card bills.

8. Resist your children. They're going to find it hard to change their expectations. How can you help? Stand firm. The next time they clamor for the latest videogame, remind them of the bigger prize (that family vacation), and tell them their choices here and now are, say, a picnic or a movie rental. Offer options, but don't give in to their push for more consumer goods.

9. Enlist other people. Many people are reticent to talk about money worries, but almost everyone has them, so open up and tap your allies. Hold a contest with friends to see who can save the most in a month, or agree with your spouse to talk before spending more than $100, Mr. Buffone suggests.

10. Post yourself by putting post-it notes on your wallet, mirror or steering wheel with the mantra of your choosing: "I want to go to Hawaii in January." "I want to pay off credit-card debt."

11. Automate it. Divert money monthly from your checking account to savings. It will force you to budget, based on what's left in your checking account.

12. Rethink rewards. What are some of your happiest memories? Those are the true rewards. Next time you're about to buy something because you deserve it, ask yourself whether there isn't something you deserve more, such as time at home cooking with your teenager, or a stroll with your husband or best friend.

"We've been conditioned to think that spending the money on clothes, at a restaurant, is going to be the reward," Ms. Gurney says. "But what is the ultimate reward that we want from working hard, in the end?"

Source: http://finance.yahoo.com/banking-budgeting/article/105041/Ways-to-

You can't build a reputation on what you're going to do

"You can't build a reputation on what you're going to do."

--Henry Ford

How to Keep Men from Missing the Toilet

(Click on image below and it will be enlargened so you can read text)


In the Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam, the men’s urinals have a unique feature … one that could easily be used in your own bathroom, if necessary!

Someday

Someday you`re gonna realize
One day you`ll see this though my eyes
By then I won`t even be there
I`ll be happy somewhere
Even if I cared
I know you don`t really see my worth
You think you`re the last guy on earth
Well I`ve got news for you
I know I`m not that strong
But it won`t take long
Won`t take long

Someday someone`s gonna love me
The way I wanted you to need me
Someday someone`s gonna take your place
One day I`ll forget about you
You'll see i won't even miss you
Someday, someday

Right now I know you can tell
I`m down and I`m not doing well
But one day these tears they will all run dry
I won`t have to cry, sweet goodbye

Found at: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/nby/mis/651410281.html

Activating Your Success Mechanism

written by Brian Tracy

One point that all motivational teachers agree upon is that every peak-performing man or woman is an obsessive goal setter. They are motivated by compelling, burning, internal goals. Our subconscious mind goes to work immediately on goals we write out and think about continuously to make them a reality. Why then do so few people have goals? Studies indicate that only about 1 percent of the total population has written goals. (Unless a goal has been written out, it is merely just a wish.)

A study at Yale University in 1953 asked this question: "Do you have clear goals? Have you written them down and laid out some method of achieving them?" Only 3 percent of the graduating class had specific written goals! In 1973, 20 years later, those members of the 1953 class were surveyed to follow up on their past performance. It was found that the 3 percent who had written goals were worth more, in financial terms, than the remaining 97 percent!

No other quality, such as environment, appearance, grade level or family background, is nearly as important to personal success as the habit of personal goal-setting. It is intense goal-orientation that marks the winners in every single area. Unless we have goals, we simply go around in circles in our lives. We go nowhere. When we set goals, we go straight and true. We develop purpose, we develop direction, we develop focused and channeled energy. We develop more in a short time with goals that we could accomplish in years without them. Every human being has a failure mechanism and a success mechanism. The failure mechanism is on automatically. When we set a goal, we push the success mechanism. When we are preoccupied by a burning desire to accomplish our goal, we are moving toward success. Most people are not aware of this. And even those who are, often lack the self discipline, the will, self confidence to set goals and stick with them until they accomplish them.

The characteristic that sets high achievers apart from the average person is "intensity of purpose." Bunker Hunt, who was bankrupt at age 32 and worth approximately $5 billion when he died in the late 70's said, "to be successful you must first decide what you want in life. Next you must determine how much you are willing to pay to achieve it. You must resolve to pay that price and to make the sacrifices required to reach your goals. That's all that is necessary."

Why is it that so few people set goals? First, not many people understand how important it is. Those who come from families who set goals usually pick up the habit of setting goals themselves. Second, they often don't know how. It is sad but true that we can receive 12 to 18 years of education through our schools but not receive one hour of time dedicated to teach us how to set goals. Most school teachers are not goal setters themselves. Elementary school students who have been exposed to goal-setting techniques enjoy school more, score consistently higher than their counterparts and have a better attitude toward parents, teachers and life in general than those who do not receive instruction in goal setting.

Third, they have a fear of rejection brought on by destructive criticism. Due to human nature, friends and relatives tend to discourage us when we tell them about our goals. For this reason, keep your goals confidential. Share them only with others whom you respect and who are also in the habit of setting goals. They will be encouraging. Other than that one exception, don't tell anyone so you do not put yourself in a position to be criticized or discouraged from your goals.

Fourth, they have a fear of failure. This is the greatest block to success in adult life. People do not realize the importance of failure in achievement. It is impossible to achieve without failure! We can never reach our true potential without experiencing numerous failures in our lives. Thomas Edison found 10,000 ways that a light bulb would not work before he hit on the right combination. The natural tendency is to stay in our comfort zones. The nature of human beings is to become satisfied and complacent with their surroundings and to try nothing more. Every single peak-performing man or woman has thrown off the natural tendency to play it safe and stay within the comfort zone and has tried to exceed past performance They have gone into the risk zone to try something bigger, better and more important. Every important achievement ever made has been accomplished by men and women who have had the courage to take the risk, to step out even though they had no guarantee they would succeed. Life is somewhat like a baseball game--three strikes and your out. But in life you are not only the batter you are also the umpire. If you stand at the plate long enough you will hit a home run. No one can call you out but yourself.

With regards to goal-setting, almost everyone is afraid of change. This is because we are afraid that change will make us worse off than before. The reason we set goals is to enable us to control change in our lives, we can see to it that the change will be an improvement rather than causing us to be worse off than we were before. We must set goals in order to be in control of our lives, and we must be in control of our lives before we can feel good about ourselves.

With regard to goal-setting, there are two to three general concepts. One of these is the "area of excellence." This merely means that we are all usually average in most areas of our lives, but we all have the ability to be outstanding in at least one area. Every single person is put on this earth for a unique purpose. Nobody is put here at random. We all have something special and valuable to contribute to the human race. One of our major responsibilities as human beings is to find our area of excellence and to become as good as we possibly can be at developing our area of excellence. As we must make a living for the rest of our lives, we have an obligation to develop to the best of our ability at least one marketable skill.

It is amazing to find that most people work 20 to 30 years at a job without realizing that they should become experts at what they do if they do if they wish to receive the awards life has to offer. Instead, many go through their entire careers frustrated and complaining, expecting government or their employers to provide them with the material things they were unable to earn for themselves. They were paid lower wages because they did not develop their skills to the degree that they deserved more.

Most people do what they do in a mediocre fashion, never realizing how important it is that they become outstanding at something. One reason this is so important is job security. The top 20 percent in any field are always guaranteed a job. More important is the fact that how we feel about ourselves determines how well we do everything in life. It determines our level of health, our personal relationships, our creativity, our peace of mind. If a person does not develop excellence at something, then that person gets up every morning and sees someone who is mediocre at everything. It is impossible to like ourselves when we realize we are not trying to excel in some area of our lives. In establishing our goals, one goal must be to find one area of excellence and become the best we can be in that endeavor.

"You can only become excellent doing what you love to do." One of our prime responsibilities as adults is to find what we like to do and spend the time and effort to do it very well. You can tell what you like to do by looking at what interests you, what attracts your attention. Look at the kind of things you would do if you were not getting paid to do them, the sort of things you would do if you had no limitations on your abilities.

The second concept is called the "acres of diamonds" concept. This is based on a story about a farmer who sold his farm to go in search of diamonds. After many years of futile searching, he died broken and unhappy. Meanwhile, the person who brought his farm found some rough, mud-caked rocks that glittered when they were chipped. It turned out the entire farm was covered with a fortune of rough diamonds. The moral of the story is that the farmer who sold his farm never realized that diamonds don't look like diamonds until they are cut polished and set. We must realize that our major opportunities come to us disguised as rough diamonds. We must see them for what they are. It is through our efforts, dedication and ambition that we develop beautiful diamonds from the rough rocks others ignore.

When you set goals, don't think you must move or go back to school for 5 years to get a degree. Opportunities, like the diamonds, are close at hand. You need only to recognize them.

We must have a balance of goals to have a balanced life. The major categories of goals include: Family and personal goals--these are the reasons we set goals; business and career goals; self improvement goals. Successful people are always working on themselves to become better people. Goals must be in harmony with each other. We cannot want to spend half our time on the beach and still wish to become wealthy and successful in business. We must also set goals which are congruent with our fundamental values.

Ask yourself the following questions. The answers may give you acute insight into what your major goals should be.

1. What are the five things you value most in life?
2. In 30 seconds or less, write down the three most important goals in your life right now.
3. What would you do if you won $1 million in the lottery tomorrow? What changes would you make in your life?
4. What would you do if you had no physical or mental limitations. What would be your ambition, your dream?
5. How would you spend your time if you knew you had only six months to live? What would you do with your life? What changes would you make? The answer to this question will tell you what your values are.
6. What have you always wanted to do but have been afraid to try? Remember, it is the fear of failure that is preventing you from doing what you have always wanted to do.
7. In looking back over all the things you have done in your life, what things have given you the greatest feelings of importance and mental well-being? What has added to your highest self esteem? The answers to this question will give you the answer to where your field of excellence lies.
8. If you had a magic bottle with a genie in it who would grant you one wish, what one great thing would you desire? If you could accomplish any one great goal, what would it be? What one great thing would you dare to dream if you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt you absolutely could not fail?

This is one of the most important question because if you can write it down on paper, you are capable of attaining it. Nature is not capricious. It does not give us the ability to clearly visualize and write down a goal without also giving us the ability to realize it. The only questions are: How badly do you want it? And, are you willing to pay the price to get it? The only limitation is in your own mind. It is not contained in physical reality.

After answering these questions, it is essential that you pick one major purpose in life. We know that all great success starts with one great, major purpose. If we choose to work on too many goals simultaneously, we diffuse our efforts and end up accomplishing almost nothing. Every great life only becomes great when the individual picks only one thing as the major goal and devotes all of his or her energy to making that goal a reality. Usually all of the minor goals are also accomplished. If you have not set and achieved goals before, it is important to understand that each time you achieve a predetermined goal, it is easier to accomplish the next goal. This is because you gain confidence in your own abilities with each victory. The stronger you believe, the more likely you are to succeed.

The first step in any goal setting is desire. Desire is always personal. You can never successfully desire something for someone else. Your goal must be purely personal and selfish, something you want very much.

Second is belief. Your goals must be believable so that you must strongly believe they are attainable before they will become reality. They must be realistic. If your conscious mind will not accept the goal, there is no way your subconscious will believe it and go to work on it.

For example, if you are earning $20,000 a year today, raise your sights in 50 percent increments. That is, say I make $30,000 a year. Then visualize, believe and use self-affirmation to reach your goal. This will improve your performance, your communication skills and open up your mind so you will do your job better or see new opportunities that are open to you. Your goals should have about a 50-50 chance of achievement. This means they are believable and the subconscious mind can go to work on them. Once you have reached a point of success, you can reaffirm and work on the remaining portion of the achievement of the goal. For instance, say you would like to lose 40 pounds. Instead of setting 40 pounds as your goal, visualize yourself five or ten pounds lighter. Goals are reached one step at a time. When you have lost 10 pounds, set your goal to lose another 10 pounds.

Make your goals challenging and let them make you stretch. Each of your goals should be for the next level of attainment. Striving for our goals takes us out of our comfort zone and causes us to grow with each accomplishment. Make them difficult enough to be challenging but believable enough to be attainable.

Write down your goals. This is the way you program your goal into the subconscious It is very important to accomplishing goals. The more detailed and precise you write it down the better. Write exactly how you would like it to happen.

For example, if you want a new house, you would not merely say, "I want a 3,000 square foot house." You would instead describe the house as you want it to be, as you picture it. "I want a three bedroom, split-level house with...etc." Until a goal is written down on paper, it is not a goal, it is a wish.

Determine how you will benefit by achieving your goal. Write out all the benefits and advantages you will receive upon achieving your goal. If your goal is financial, then write out all the differences it will make in your life when you attain your goal. The more reasons you can have for reaching the goal, the more irresistible the goal will become for you. You will develop a force, a power and a conviction that makes you virtually unstoppable in reaching your goal.

Analyze your position. Where are you right now in regard to your goal? If your goal is financial, how much more money will you need to reach your goal? Do an exact financial analysis of how much you are worth today.

Set a deadline. Set a time when you expect to reach your goal. Your major purpose in life should always be measurable specific and quantifiable. You should be able to count it and measure it so you always know how close you are to accomplishing it. The feeling of being a winner is an important part of being a winner. We can only feel like a winner when we are working towards an important goal. "Happiness is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or idea." Unless we can measure the beginning, the end, and the steps in between, we will lose the motivational power that lies in a major definite purpose.

Identify the obstacles you will have to overcome to reach your goal. If there are no obstacles, it is no goal; it is merely an activity. Once you have written the obstacles down on paper, you will find they do not seem as large as they did. There is usually only one or two things that will take much of your attention. The rest will seem insignificant.

Clearly identify the groups, people and organizations whose assistance you will need in order to reach your goal. This introduces three laws. The first law is the law of sowing and reaping, or the law of return. You only reap from having sown in previous periods. What you are reaping today is a result of what you have sown in the past. The law of return says the more you put in, the more you will get out, and you need to put in to get anything out. Second is the law of compensation. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Realizing this, in regards to the people whose assistance you need to succeed, we ask ourselves, "what can we do for them in order to get the assistance we need?" Third is the law of service. We can only succeed by serving our fellowman by providing goods and services that are of value to them. All successful men and women have begun by finding ways they can serve others. They have determined to go the extra mile and always do more than they are paid for. The starting point of all riches is to find out how you can give, how you can serve others to get in return what you want. Successful companies have an obsession with customer service.

Make a plan. Take all the details you have identified in the last three steps. Make it complete in every detail. Write out all the activities you will have to engage in to reach your goal. Once you have identified your activities, prioritize them in order of importance. All plans are merely activities laid out in terms of time and priorities.

Once you have committed your plan to paper, continually go back to it and rewrite it until it is the perfect plan. As you acquire new information, have new experiences, receive feedback and begin to move forward and have setbacks and disappointments and make mistakes, look at the plan and see where it has to be revised. All high-achievers think and write on paper. They do it over and over again. They plan their days, they plan their weeks and they plan their months. That is why they move ahead so rapidly.

Get a clear mental image of your goal as though it was already in existence right now. Every time you get a chance, play that picture of your goal on the screen of your mind.

Back your plan with determination and resolve to never, never give up. The best plan on earth will not work unless you do. Many people do all of the steps properly until they reach step 12. At the first sign of a problem, they give up. Persistence is very important to success. No matter how perfect your plan or how pure your heart, every person who has set out to do something out of the ordinary has suffered setback after setback before they found success. They have faced adversity and disappointment. The difference between the winners and the losers is that the winners pick themselves up and keep on trying while the losers whine "why me?" Remember this: "Self discipline is persistence in action." You can see how much self-discipline you have by how much persistence you have at working toward your goal. "Your persistence is your measure of faith in yourself."

You can tell how much faith you have in yourself by how willing you are to pick yourself up after a bitter disappointment. If you are willing to pick yourself up, there is literally nothing that can stop you!

Practice effective time management. All high-achievers use their time well. Every minute, hour or day that comes and goes is lost to us forever. If we do not use it well, we have lost an opportunity to move closer to our goal. There are six key points toward effective time management. First, have clearly defined goals. We waste allot of time when we only have vague, or worse yet, no idea of what we wish to accomplish. Second, have clear, detailed plans. We would never buy a list of materials and give it to a contractor and say "build me a house." He would ask, "where are the plans?" It is just as foolish to try to build a successful life without laying out a plan of what we wish to accomplish and what it will look like once we have reached our goals.

Make a list for each day. Lay out your list on Saturday for the upcoming week. Then make a list at the end of each day so your subconscious can work on it overnight. When you start off your day, refuse to do anything not on the list. Discipline yourself to write every new assignment down on the list. You will find that once you write it down, it does not seem as important as your first thought. If you do not use a list, you will find yourself responding to the urgent, rather than doing the important. You become preoccupied with trivia.

Two important things happen when you use a list. First, you will become organized and achieve more each day. Second, you will get a feeling of accomplishment as you check off each activity you have completed. You will feel you are on top of your life and in control. Without a list, at the end of the day, you will feel like you have been spinning your wheels and have accomplished very little. You will feel stressed out because you will feel you have made no real gains toward your goal. At the end of the day, transfer the things that you didn't get to that day to your list for the next day. You will find that by using a list you will sleep better at night because you know that your work is under control and down on paper. You will not have to worry about forgetting something important.

Set priorities on your list. The 80-20 rule says "80% of the value of any list is contained in 20% of activities." For example, if you have 10 items on your list, 80% of the value of what you wish to achieve today will be in about two of the ten items. Concentrate on those items first. This is the most efficient use of your time. Ask yourself regularly, "What is the most valuable use of my time right now?" You always must make a choice between one activity or another. Before you choose, ask yourself the question. All high-achievers know, "there is never enough time to do everything, but there is always time to do the most important things." Ask yourself, "if I had to go out of town tomorrow and only had time to do one thing, What one thing would I do?" Put a circle around that--that will set your priority.

Use concentration and single handling. Successful people do first things first, and they stay with them until they are complete. It is important to find blocks of time that are devoted to handling your top priority without interruption. Otherwise you will pick up and set down a project four or five times, thereby taking too much time to accomplish it.

Develop a sense of urgency. Do it now! Don't procrastinate! Less than 2 percent of the people in our society have a sense of urgency. Less than 2 percent of the people will do a thing the first time it comes up--98 percent of the people put off even minor tasks for another time. The best way to stand out from your peers and make your superiors stand up and take notice is to do a task as soon as possible. Bosses always go to the person who gets it done now. They pay them more, and they respect those employees more than those who put it off until next week.

Remember, "Obstacles are what you see when you take your mind off your goal." Your mind can only hold one thought at a time--positive or negative--and your goal is a positive thought. Always think about your goal. It is impossible to be troubled by petty little problems when you are concentrating on your goal. You will feel alive and full of energy when you keep your goal in mind. When others tell you about their goals, encourage them to "go for it." Everyone should have goals in order to be happy. As you accomplish your goal, set new goals. Goals are what make life worth living.

6 Tips for Landing Your Dream Job

Do you have a job that's just like everyone else's? Are you looking for a 9-to-5, but wish you weren't? Do you wish there was another option, one that would lead to an exciting, unique, and fulfilling line of work?

I recently interviewed more than 100 people who currently hold their dream jobs as research for a new book called "How'd You Score That Gig?" These individuals, who are travel journalists, event planners, fashion designers, forensic scientists, interior decorators, Internet business owners and more, have one thing in common -- persistence.

As unattainable as a dream job might sound, with the right amount of forethought and preparation, you can make the move as well. Following are six tips to get you started.

1. Learn about yourself.

Take time to do a self-assessment of your values, how you like to work, and what you'd be compelled to do even if you never got paid. Research careers and industries that map to your skills and interests. Hit the Internet, set up informational interviews, take relevant coursework, and arrange to go onsite at a company in your chosen field.

2. Don't be deterred by a lack of experience.

In developing a resume and other promotional materials for the field you want to pursue, think about how your current skills and talents apply to the responsibilities you'll hold in the new job. For example, knowledge of project management, client relations, information technology, and sales will take you far in most types of careers.

3. Ease into a new career one foot at a time.

Perhaps this means earning a paycheck at your current job while doing a part-time internship in your new field, or taking an adult education class or workshop on the weekend. The only way to find out if you're passionate about something is to try it -- ideally with as little risk as you can manage.

4. Remember that any progress is good progress.

Even confident people stay in unsatisfying jobs because they feel safe, and because they're afraid of making a bad decision. But in the quest to uncover a source of meaningful work, though, your worst enemy is inertia. Make an effort to do one thing, like emailing a networking contact or attending an event -- that moves you a bit closer to your big-picture goal.

5. Start early.

Twenty- and thirty-somethings have more flexibility when it comes to test-driving different careers. The process of self-discovery is much easier when you're unencumbered by family responsibilities and substantial financial burdens, and when you haven't yet reached a level in a career where it's tougher to turn back. That said, it's never too late to pursue your passion. More and more baby boomers are leaving the world of traditional employment for alternative career paths that will fulfill them well into retirement age.

6. Have realistic expectations.

Even if you're lucky enough to hold your dream job, there's no such thing as the perfect work situation. Every job has its ups and downs, and aspects we love and aspects we don't love. And "dream job" doesn't mean "cushy job." As your mom always told you, anything worth having in this world requires some effort. There will be some days you feel like shutting the alarm off and going back to sleep, but many more where you feel more energized by the prospect of work than you ever thought possible!

Source: http://hotjobs.yahoo.com/career-articles-6_tips_for_landing_your_dream_job-373

Sit by the water and listen

Sit by the water and listen
i will tell you..
The deep parts of my life pour onward,
as if the river shores were opening out.
It seems that things are more like me now,
that I can see farther into paintings.
I feel closer to what language can’t reach.
With my sense, as with birds, I climb
into the windy heaven, out of the oak,
and in the ponds broken off from the sky
my feeling sinks, as if standing on fishes.

- Rainer Maria Rilke


Source: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/pen/mis/641560681.html

The Man In The Glass

By Dale Wimbrow 1895-1954

When you get what you want in your struggle for self, The Guy in the Glass
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that guy has to say.



For it isn’t your Father, or Mother, or Wife,
Who judgement upon you must pass.


The feller whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the guy staring back from the glass.



He’s the feller to please, never mind all the rest,
For he’s with you clear up to the end,
And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.



You may be like Jack Horner and “chisel” a plum,
And think you’re a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum
If you can’t look him straight in the eye.



You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you’ve cheated the guy in the glass.

What gets us into trouble is not what we don't know.

"What gets us into trouble is not what we don't know.
It's what we know for sure that just ain't so."

--Mark Twain

Death is not the ultimate tragedy in life

"Hope, faith, love, humor, and a strong will to live offer no promise of immortality,

only proof of our uniqueness as human beings and the opportunity to experience

full growth even under the grimmest circumstances. Far more real than the ticking
of time is the way we open up the minutes and invest them with meaning. Death is
not the ultimate tragedy in life. The ultimate tragedy is to die without discovering

the possibilities of full growth."

--Norman Cousins, Good Housekeeping, Nov. 1989, p. 92

Who Do You Love?

L O V E -- L O V E -- L O V E -- L O V E -- LOVE 4 SELF?

--Who do you love?

--I mean, who do you really love?

Your mom, perhaps. Your dad. Maybe your dog. A sibling. Your friends. A partner. Your children.

Our lives are filled with important relationships.

Yet it never ceases to amaze me how many people completely ignore the most important relationship of all. The relationship with the one person guaranteed to be with them for the rest of their lives.

THEMSELVES!

That includes "ME", by the way... I forget my inner-relationship all the time because I'm too caught up in helping others. And the inner-turbulence I experience from that could shake a baby to death.

budda said: "You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love & affection."

So, why not consciously make the decision today to simply give yourself some love and affection - for absolutely no reason at all?

Literally no reason. Just do it because it's a smart thing to do.

Sit down - and for ten minutes or so, praise yourself, be nice to yourself, let go of "attachments" to arguments and issues.

Stop beating yourself up for being such a bad person. Stop slapping yourself every time you do that thing wrong again.

Just give yourself some love, some approval, some affection - simply because you can.

Let me tell you something.

I've made some crazy decisions in my life just because I haven't loved myself enough. Decisions that have literally changed my entire path, simply because I didn't care enough about this one most important relationship.

It's said: "If I am not for myself, who will be?"

Make the decision to be your own biggest fan, starting today.

And take time out to really give yourself the love and approval needed to make that happen.

Just for fun.

Try it out. And see what happens.

"I never loved another person the way I loved myself." - Mae West

Remember, to start your day off right by loving yourself and giving yourself the biggest hug (Just don't molest yourself). Hope this helps.

Cheers to the best day of your life.

--Rob (of www.livelifehappy.com)

Always be honest with what you expect in others

The following personal ad is for a man essentially looking for a slave. While I could not be happy in this kind of one-way relationship, I have to give him kudos for being 100% honest with his expectations.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Looking for my life partner. - 32
Reply to: pers-582116966@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-02-21, 2:48PM PST


Here are my rules, if you can deal with them then please send me your picture and we will take it from there.

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for my return.

This is a way of letting me know that you have be thinking about me and are concerned about my needs.
I am hungry when i get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when i arrives.

Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. I have just been with a lot of work-weary people.
Be a little happy and a little more interesting for me.

My boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before i arrive. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for me to unwind by.

I will feel i have reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to my comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Minimize all noise. At the time of my arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet (When we have some).

Be happy to see me.
Greet me with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please me.
Listen to me. You may have a dozen important things to tell me, but the moment of my arrival is not the time.

Let me talk first - remember, my topics of conversation are more important than yours.
Don't greet me with complaints and problems.
Don't complain if i am late for dinner or even if i stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what i might have gone through at work.

Make me comfortable. Have me lean back in a comfortable chair or lie me down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for me.
Arrange my pillow and offer to take off my shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Don't ask me questions about my actions or question my judgment or integrity. Remember, i am the master of the house and as such will always exercise my will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question me.

A good wife always knows her place.

Found at: http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/m4w/582116966.html

Is this you ? ? ? ? ?

What a real man would do....

• Grab her neck when you kiss her, it's a real turn on. Not her butt/boobs.

• Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.

• When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go then kiss her

• When she says she's ok dont believe it talk with her

• Never cheat on her because 10 yrs later she'll remember you

• Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

• Call her before you sleep and after you wake up

• Treat her like a person and not something to show off for

• Tease her and let her tease you back.

• Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

• Watch her favorite movie with her.


• TRUST HER WITH HER GUY FRIENDS

• Let her wear your clothes.

• When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.

• Let her know she's important.

• Kiss her in the pouring rain.

• When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

Found at: http://sacramento.craigslist.org/mis/580087129.html

An open letter to the dumbass who punched my window.

Reply to: pers-567842156@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-02-08, 7:23PM PST

Dear ignorant ass,

You will remember me as the guy in the white ford f-250 today. You were driving a rather sketchy looking honda with a ICP sticker in the backwindow. I was behind you at the light.

Now, let me start with the fact that I exercise extreme patience. Really, I do try to not get frazzled in certain situations.


Traffic light turns green. You don't go. I don't know what you were doing... smoking a joint, jerking off, beating your wife, I don't really care. But whatever it was caused you not to take your foot off the large pedal, and put it on the long skinny one on the right.

I went by my 5 second rule. That means I gave you five seconds, then, and not in an obnoxious way, (more like a Wiley Coyote vs. Roadrunner sort of way) I honked my horn 2x.

Meep Meep.

Now. Maybe you had a bad day, maybe you were high, maybe you are an enviromental activist who couldn't stand me driving a diesel powered automobile. I don't know, and once again, I don't care.

You, being for some reason very irritated, careened out of your car, slammed the door, and charged my truck. Spikey haircut, cut-off tee, worn out shorts and all, you charge directly to my side window.

You weren't armed. So I just sat there, window up, with a look of, well, not surprise, but confusion. Really? Are you that pissed I honked at you?

You screamed, cursed, and spit on my window. You now, obviously upset that I have not accepted your invitation to fisti-cuffs, nor rolled down my window, proceed to punch said window...

It didn't break. Duh. You watch too much TV. I'll bet it hurt like a bitch though.

I will stop here for a sidenote. Remember that I said you were not armed? I therefore did not classify you as a viable threat at the time.

See, the entire time you were pulling your shit-fit, my right hand was crossed over my waist, my 9mm Beretta was already drawn, round chambered, safety off, just sitting there, aimed through my armrest, at you. Less than a foot away.

Had you made a move for your pocket, obtained something from your car that could be used as a weapon, or actually gotten through that window, you most likely would not have made it to where you were going in very good shape.

Ever see a 9mm round go through a door? I have. Several times. I'm the guy who gives classes to teach other guys how to kill people. Doors don't stop bullets,,, no, they just slow them down, cause them to tumble, therefore tearing into your flesh with the glass and power window parts from the door.

I can draw from the holster and put a round on target in under a second. By my calculations, I could have reloaded twice (that's all the magazines I had). That means I could have dumped 45 Rounds into you... all before the light went red again.

But I am a patient man.

I actually like people, and value life.

So, I say to you dumbshit... be thankfull I wasn't having the kind of day you were having.

And, thankfully for you, you smartened up, and went back to your car, had you not, I would have exited said truck, pistol whipped your bitch ass, and beat you like you owe me money.

TO YOU, AND ALL DUMBSHITS LIKE THIS... I WARN YOU... THIS IS NEVADA, NOT CALIFORNIA, MOST OF US HAVE GUNS, AND THANKS TO NICE, LIBERAL LAWS, THE SMARTER OF US AREN'T AFRAID TO USE THE.

GROW THE FUCK UP AND ACT LIKE ADULTS, SO YOUR FAMILY WON'T TRY TO SUE ME LATER ON WHEN I MAKE A WIDOW OF YOUR WIFE.

Peace out.

Found at: http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/rnr/567842156.html